I have this cousin...
Man, her home life was terrible. Her dad is bipolar and untreated. Her mom is the most selfish human being I've ever met. She has a twelve year old brother who is so filled with anger and so empty of hope, I just don't know what to do.
My cousin grew up in a dysfunctional home where no one had any sort of responsibility, but waited for someone to do everything for them. Like, pay their bills, buy their kids clothes, etc.
My cousin is inexplicably smart. She grew up in a tiny farming community (they're not farmers) with a small consolidated school district, yet Yale contacted her as a sophomore, and offered to interview her as a junior. She didn't go to that interview because "she didn't have a car and no one (i.e. her parents) could take her."
Now, she's almost 21, she works at a motel part-time, she lives with her boyfriend (who is nice enough, but he's immature and not exactly the sharpest crayon in the box), and she's expecting a child in January. This isn't the worst thing in the world, except that the parenting models these two have had have been horrendous.
What is stressing me out the most is the constant barrage of Facebook posts she has about hating her life. I keep trying to build her up in encouraging ways, but in the past few months, I've realized I don't mean it. I'm just mad at her. She's so smart and so capable, but she doesn't want to do a thing for herself. She expects everything to come from someone else. For example, she and her boyfriend were "buying" a house on contract, on two part-time jobs. When the time came for them to put up earnest money, they didn't have it. So, she cried to her family for someone to give them the money or take out a loan for them, because they lacked credit. When no one did, she cut everyone off, because "those who could help, wouldn't." She didn't understand that risk or sacrifice it would have been for everyone else to pay her debt. And here I am, age thirty-five and a renter. I don't understand why people without full-time jobs should own a home.
But I digress. I want to encourage this young woman, and give her support through her pregnancy. But it's so difficult, because she not only expects it, but she's angry when she's not given these things she's entitled to. Do you have people like this in your life? Am I being too harsh? (I'm sure someone is going to say that.) How do you handle these situations?