When I was in DC a couple of weeks ago, I was on "light duty". Poor Amy. We ended up sitting around, a lot. I didn't care because I just wanted to spend time with my BFF and her family (LOVE her son and husband). But, I felt bad for her. She's a busy, working mom. She's always on the go. And there I was, becoming one with her sofa.
Anyway, on the last day I was there, we ended up watching way too many episodes of "A Baby Story." I have to tell you - in high school, I saw the "Miracle of Life", the worst biology/health class film ever, three times in one week. Since then, all things childbirth related have freaked me out. So, couple that with being pregnant with some minor complications, I was terrified. Yet, I couldn't seem to change the channel. Three hours later, I was rolled into a little ball, traumatized.
Since then, I've been reading many more articles and books about childbirth and am way less grossed out. But what still bothers me is the idea of it - being so exposed, naked, vulnerable in front of all those people. When I became a little better at articulating this, I called my mom.
Me: Mom... about having a baby.
Mom: Yeah...
I could hear the fear in her voice, because as close as we are, we've never had one of those relationships. The ones where you talk about naughty business and the potential good/bad repercussions of that naughty business.
Me: As much as I love you, there's no way in hell you're going to be in the delivery room with me. In fact, I'm not sure I want The Targo there. Do you think they can do it in the dark? Maybe under the covers? Omigod!
After she was finished laughing at me (not in my general direction), she said: That's okay, I don't want to be there either.
I'm relieved. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but the idea is just scary to me.
To those of you who've had children, or are thinking you might someday, who do you want in the room with you? And really, I won't make The Targo wait outside; but our neck-up rule still applies.
*Edit* I can't believe I'm talking about this already. I'm so trying not to become more boring.
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11 comments:
HA! I just had a conversation about this kind of thing with my sister-in-law on Friday night. She has 2 kids and I was asking "so like when you're giving birth does it bother you that everyone is looking at your Hoo-Hah?"
And she, who is modest as well, said that at a certain point you just want the baby out and you just don't care.
But I'm with you. Lights out and no one in there.
Yup, I agree with both of you. There are some things that no one really needs to see. :)
is it sick that I am laughing at your neck-up rule?
and I only want my husband and maybe MAYBE my sister with me.
The idea of having AS in the room terrifies me. I'd rather have ONLY my mom. Cause, you know, I've thrown up on my mom before and she has proven to still love me.
I hope this will change before I have actual children.
Oh, I started talking about my birth as soon as I knew I was pregnant! I gave birth in the OR with 13 people in it - including The Hubby and Lovely Daughter. I could have cared less if a tour bus showed up. Seriously.
About the pain - it's bad, but not as bad as I think it's built up in your own mind. Then, I got drugs. I could have cared less how they were giving me the drugs (I had an epidural) I just wanted DRUGS! Bliss! :)
As to having The Targo there, The Hubby is notorious for freaking about about anything to do with blood, needles, hospitals, etc. and he was a total champ when I was giving birth. Just remind them to not 'look south' and all will be well. Heh.
PS: No more Baby Story or birth movies for you! You'll never see your own birth from that angle, anyway. As well, you'll be too busy pushing to give a rat's ass. LOL!
PPS: Ironically, I had the same conversation with my mom before the birth. During the birth I really wished she had been there. Not just for me, but to support the Hubby.
OK. My novel is done now - LOL!
So I know absolutely NOTHING about all of this, except for the fact that I'll be scared shitless too. But I think I'm want my momma. Maybe. I'll probably change my mind when it happens and I realise how many people will be looking at my ladyparts.
It's all going to be fine, chook. *hugs*
No way in h-e-double hockey sticks will I allow my mom -or anyone besides hubs- in the delivery room. There is a point you get to that you don't care who checks out your southern region or with hospital staff, it's really no big deal, but I force myself to accept it early on.
Just don't watch in a mirror. I about barfed when I saw "myself" and had them take it away.
Get an epidural. Would you have a root canal without meds? My #3 baby, I felt no pain at all. It was actually a really fun day.
My only worry about future children-having is pooping on the table.
Yeah. Baby Story taught me some things I didn't really want to know about but that's one thing I'm glad I knew about ahead of time or I would DIE. Still trying to figure out how to make that not happen.
Again, this is coming from a single, non-mother so what do I know.
Drugs sound very good to me. Truthfully, I haven't thought that far ahead... except for the modesty (and I know it's stupid) issue.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for this post! Seriously, I don't have children but plan to one day ( I think). I am a fairly modest person and I want to be alone in the delivery room. I'll page a doctor if I need one. Otherwise I'll handle it and let everyone know how it all turns out later. I thought I was the only one who felt like not having an audience.
Oh yeah, I'm am sooo not an exhibitionist. No one was in the room except my husband and the nurse and midwife. I've had 3 kids and really the 1st was the worst, because it was unknown. You will deal with all that comes and you hubby will be awesome support. By the way, mine was not allowed to talk during labor, I'm a bitch that way :-) Wishing you all the best!
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