Now, Babyproofing Your Marriage would not meet the standards of strict scholarship and their surveys, focus groups, and interviews have not been done by the National Opinion Research Center, but sometimes basic qualitative research can be more powerful. And, wow! I had no idea that most married people with children were so unhappy. A huge part of it is that we're just so busy, but there are habits that can negatively impact our marriages.
We're only about halfway through the book, but I've learned a couple things about myself already. In particular, I tend to "keep score" with The Targo. I make mental notes of all of the domestic things I do and also when he does things half-assed. After reading a chapter discussing this very issue, I thought about how unfair that is. There are a couple things I consider his job (e.g. all landlord contact) yet I don't take them into consideration. After examining that, I realized how our division of labor has really been slanted since we found out I was pregnant: He carries the huge laundry basket down the stairs. He does all of the cat maintenance. He's the grocery shopper (he likes that though). He empties and fills the dishwasher (I cook). If there's raw meat involved in dinner, he cuts it up. How could I complain? For me (I'm most definitely not saying all women) I think it's part of my nature, because both of my parents are complainers and scorekeepers.
I hope that by addressing these issues early, we can diminish (or eliminate) some of these inevitable problems and just enjoy being parents. Because really, we know that we're lucky we have each other and are so excited about this baby.