The scene: A bar/restaurant in Chicago. The cast is having brunch. Nathan is covered in chocolate pound cake.
Me: Here Nathan, let me wipe your face and hands. Then, I'll give you your pacifier.
Nathan squirms and nearly gets away, but submits ... because hey! Pacifier! There's a freaky old guy drinking a gin and tonic with his breakfast, stage left. Old guy beckons our heroine to him.
Creepy old dude: Hi. Who told you to use a pacifier?
Me (huh?): Um, no one.
Creepy old dude: Well, I'm a doctor and it's just not a good idea. How old is he?
Me: 15 months.
Creepy old dude: Don't keep giving it to him. It's not a good idea.
Me: (mumbling something like, thanks for your concern)
After our hero and heroine pay the bill, the walk to the car. Once inside, our heroine looks completely dumbfounded.
Me: Dude. I hope when I get that old I'm not like that.
The Targo: Yeah, that was weird.
Me: Well, maybe it's not so bad, just telling random people "what's what!"