Today. *sigh* Today is one of those days that I hope to prepare for every year, and yet, every year I'm scrambling, and failing, and floundering, and my gosh.
Today is The Targo's birthday. He's a ripe old thirty-three. And my word, he is... well, he's everything. And I can't figure out how to express it.
I'm big into birthdays. BIG! I always tell the Targo that I don't need Christmas or Valentine's presents, but to do something nice for me on my birthday. I feel even more that way now that I'm getting freaking old.
But this isn't about me, is it? No no no. It's about that man. That man. The Targo.
I've been trying to figure out what to get him for at least a month. I've been racking my brain, asking Amazon, looking, seeking. Bah! Why does he have such expensive tastes! He just bought a new camera, so I couldn't get him that.
Today I found it. It's not the most creative gift in the world, but it's so him. (It's a nerdy book, but I'll reveal it tomorrow, just in case he reads this. I'm not even sure he remembers I have a blog. Heck, most of the time I don't remember I have a blog.)
It's taken me all day, but I've realized that what he wants, what he needs, is my love and support. He's got a lot of pressures (we all do, I know) and I'm not the most supportive person to him. I may talk a good game, and I truly am his biggest fan, but I fall into that trap of nagging and patronizing behavior. I'm not saying he's perfect; I'm just saying that instead of tearing him down, I need to build him up. Like he does to me.
Today I'm thinking about this man, the one in the pictures. The one who rushes home every day to spend those short hours with Nathan and me. The one who frets over the bank accounts every day and tries to figure out how we can afford a new car, a home of our own, or just a simple family vacation. Somehow he makes it all work.
Today I realized that all I need to get him for his birthday is a whole lot of love and encouragement. Words of affirmation affect him more than anything else I can do. Because that's how he's wired.
And me... I'm insane about him.
Today... today. I'm going to remind him that he's my happily ever after. I hope it makes up for the book I got him.
Happy birthday, Yo-Yo.