The Time I ... started a family feud on Facebook. So, this relative of mine and I have completely different world views. He would consider me extremely conservative, but I totally disagree. I think I'm personally conservative, but most of my opinions are pretty moderate, and many lean to the left (on the political spectrum). Having said that, there are definitely things that I believe are wrong and things that I believe are right.
Back to the story...
In the interest of full disclosure, I've already spoken to the parties involved, and have expressed (and will continue to express) my opinions to them openly. I don't pretend to have all the answers (probably less than 6%), but this is just something I don't understand.
I was leaving a message on a relative's profile and I noticed that she had "Married" as her relationship status, but had interesting things in her "Looking for" category. Most people have "networking" or "friendship." But my married relative had that she was looking for a relationship, dating, random play, or "whatever I can get." I was really disturbed. Really. This person is a lovely young woman. She was previously married at a very young age. That marriage ended when she cheated on her spouse. At that point, her father said to me "she should have had that conversation with her husband before they were married, telling him how things would be." I was aghast! They got married in a church. They had a covenant! If it wasn't to God, it was still to each other. But, that's how things would be?
This relative of mine, her father, has been married and divorced twice. He's been engaged an additional time. Both of those marriages produced a child. All of these relationships have ended as a result of his view of marital fidelity. It has been, and will forever be, okay for him to sleep with whomever he wants to ... and if he wants a relationship, or two, on the side, that's fine too. So what if it affects his children? In fact, this relative is currently in an open relationship with a young woman who is two years younger than his daughter. I am concerned that he'll marry this young girl and have another child with her, only to find out that this "open relationship plan" doesn't really work over time.
So I posted on Facebook the following:
Is anyone else horrified by the married people on Facebook who put "dating"
in their "Looking for" category?
This relative posted a comment saying, "I know you won't understand but it can be a choice."
I really don't understand. My thinking is if you feel this way, why would you get married? Am I totally off base on this? Should I have more of a "live and let live" attitude? Maybe so. All I can think of is how this relative has messed up the lives of the women he's been married to, and how his children will grow up without an understanding of what a healthy relationship is.