Starting Anew

I didn't really make any New Year's resolutions - but I gotta - I just gotta do this.

So, for the wedding, all I wanted to do was tone up. That's it. I didn't have any unrealistic goals of weighing 120 lbs - hahahahahaah - or anything like that. I just didn't want to have it be "homage to back fat," which it ended up being. Mostly because I gained ten pounds. Right before the wedding. Aren't you supposed to lose weight from anxiety? That's not what my cookie-lovin'-bootay says. *sigh*

But here's the thing. I'd really like to start our family soon. Soon? Yeah, like very soon. But, I really want to be healthy when/if I'm lucky enough to get pregnant. So, I have to do something here people! I sit at a desk for 9 hours/day and then I go home and am pretty damned sedentary. Why? Well, mostly because I'm lazy. But also? Because I've had this chronic back pain for over a year now.

The Targo and I became Weight Watchers disciples and it was going SO well. He lost all the weight he needed to in about three months and looked absolutely great. I was doing pretty well, losing 5-6 lbs per month and then we started running. Let me preface this by saying the Targo is nearly 8 inches taller than me, and I'm pretty sure it's all leg-length. I'm built like a poorly drawn cartoon character: freakishly long arms and torso, with chunky four inch long legs. Yet, for some reason, I thought I could keep up with his crazy self. Well, I couldn't. At first I was just feeling minor pain in the middle of my back. Then it became a pain so bad that I would get nauseous after sitting too long. So, I fell off the exercise and Weight Watchers bandwagon. Since then (about November 2005), I've put on 12-15 lbs and all of my muscle has turned to something best not seen or spoken about.

MUST TAKE CONTROL. I am not a tough love person. But, I am reasonable. I know that I need to fit into my work clothes because I cannot afford to buy new ones. I know I need to get to a healthy weight because I want to have a safe pregnancy. I also want to be able to keep up with my husband, who is currently training for another half-marathon (who runs 13.1 miles when they're not being chased by an axe murderer? Just wrong!) Where was I going with this? Oh right - tough love. So, here - I'm making bargains with myself. Today, I'm going to the gym after work. If I do this - and I sure as hell better - I'm going to get my eyebrows done. If I go four days this week, I'm getting a pedi/mani this weekend. I can bribe myself like that!

I need to have a vested interest in my health. And that I'll feel healthy and good for a baby.