Wait, Weight!

How do I say this? GAH!! I'm pretty sure that's the only word, nonsensical or real, that can express this. I am now at 22 weeks and weigh only 4 pounds less than I did when I gave birth to Nathan. How is this possible? I've gained 19 lbs already? I have 18 weeks to go!!

I really do know how this is possible. First, I started out weighing about 10 more pounds than I did with Nathan. So, those 30-plus pounds, while a lot, didn't seem as bad, especially since I went 42 weeks.

Second, I was still working out pretty regularly when I was pregnant with Nathan. I had the time. When I see my little monkey just a few precious hours a day, I'm loathe to give any bit of them up. Also, the Targo and I were free to take long walks in the evening. Well, we get home about 6 and put Nathan to bed between 7:45 and 8:00.

Third, I eat lunch out almost every day. Back in the glory days of 2007, my office had just two other women in it. We had good camaraderie (most of the time), so I didn't mind bringing a healthy lunch and eating at my desk. That also gave me 20 minutes or so to take a walk outside. Now, my office is inhabited by approximately 354 people. And, I can't wait to get out of here to breathe, let alone eat.

I'm three years older. I guess it's possible my metabolism is slowing a bit. All I have to say about that is "BOOOOOO!"

I do hope that I can continue to be healthy, despite the faster (much faster) weight gain. My blood pressure is great and I really do feel wonderful - now that I don't have a cold or sinus infection. I think it's more important to focus on that.

Working It Out

My BFF Amy and I are working on a new website. Essentially, we're trying to help each other lose weight. Amy is one of the most wonderful people I know and I'm pretty sure she'd support me in whatever I would like to do. In this case, she's helping me get healthy and lose weight.

Our goal is to encourage each other, and other busy women with small children, to get active and eat healthy. We're going to tweak recipes so that they're low-fat, but still tasty. So, if you don't have an Amy, or you'd just like to join us, please stay tuned. We're going to try to get our website up and running later this week.

101 (Useless) Things

This morning, I posted my 100th entry! Isn't it crazy? I'm the person who has been working on her dissertation for YEARS and yet, I can write 100 posts about nothing - well, sometimes about my cats. I'm not really sure that's better. Hmm.

To be honest, I definitely don't think I'm interesting enough for 100 things, but it's one of my favorite things to read on other blogs. Especially when people are funny. Love that.

And since this is my 101st post, I'm going to list 101 Things:

1. My name is Marianne. I cannot tell you how often people spell it wrong. Or worse, don't know how to pronounce it.
2. Even worse? My last name is very short and is a word that appears in the English language as a noun, verb, and onomatopoeia; yet people still don't understand it when I say it
3. The Targo's has a long Polish last name. But it's phonetic.
   
4. Um, I guess that's my last name now too. Neither the Social Security Office nor the DMV is aware of this fact.
5. By the way, I do have a middle name.
6. I'm the youngest of four kids. The only girl. And the only one between my parents.
7. But I'm not spoiled. I'm well-loved.
8. Everyone in my family has a million nicknames. This freaks The Targo out because sometimes he doesn't know who I'm talking about.
9. I had several nicknames as a kid and my dad still calls me "Mouse."
   
10. I became an aunt the first time when I was six years old. My mom became a grandma at 29. That's not as white trash as it sounds, because she's my oldest brother's step-mom.
11. I have always been a crazy cat lady.
    
12. My first cat (she was actually my youngest brother's cat) died my sophomore year of high school. She was 20. And gross.
13. I went to grad school and got my first ever dog. He was a black lab named Jake and I loved him more than my long-time boyfriend.
    
14. When I moved to Chicago, Jake moved in with my parents and their pool. He was most happy.
15. He died in October 2005 and I cried for two days.
16. I only have one friend from high school that I still talk to. And sadly, we don't talk that much.
    
17. My closest friends are the girls I met in college.
18. And Sloth. I was the best man in his wedding.
19. And Amy. She's my soul-mate. *Shhhhhhhh... Don't tell the Targo! Or Amy's husband.*
20. I always wanted "mall-bangs" in high school, but my hair was too thick and too straight for it to work. And? I hate hair products.
21. I'm a diehard St. Louis Cardinals fan. It's in my genes. I don't know what the Targo (a diehard White Sox fan) and I are going to do if we have children. It's almost like having conflicting religions. At least he's not a Cubs fan.
22. I'm totally a Tomboy. I love playing sports and know a lot of sports trivia.
23. But I'm too chunky to be athletic.
24. I'm not afraid of spiders.
25. Or snakes. In fact, one of my childhood cat used to bring snakes into the house. It would freak my mom out. I'd pick up the snake and throw it into the neighbor's yard.
26. But, I'm totally gagged-out by flies. *ICKALOT*
27. I have really eclectic taste in music. I thank my mom for that. Aside from her, her entire family is musically gifted. She made up for it by having an awesome vinyl collection.
    
28. I used to play the saxophone. I was not very good, but I really enjoyed it. Except taking a tenor sax on the bus. So not fun.
    
29. I was in marching band in high school and college. In high school, I twirled the rifle. In college I was a flag-twirler, which wasn't as cool.
    
30. I broke my own nose once when I caught my rifle with one hand but missed it with the other. I have a scar and I consider it a battle wound.
31. I've broken four fingers (but not my thumb) on my right hand. Again, battle wounds.
32. My dad broke my nose once. He ran over a stick with the lawnmower and it flew thirty feet and smacked me in the nose.
33. My nose doesn't work so well for breathing.
    
34. I've always had weight issues (like most American girls). Two of my brothers used to say "Oh! One more jelly donut and they'll roll you to high school." They're mean. And all three are very thin.
    
35. The thinnest I've ever been was my freshman year of college when all of the dorm food made me sick. I was a size six. And for the first time in my life, I had cheekbones.
36. It didn't last long.
37. I have size 9 1/2 feet. And I'm 5'3". Now how does that make sense?
38. Once when I was shoe shopping, the sales guy at Lady Foot Locker recommended I wear the box. Jerk.
    
39. The Targo has huge feet too. But he's about 6' tall.
40. Speaking of The Targo: I really like him.
41. We met in 1999 and became instant friends. He was really shy, but so cute. I was happy-go-lucky, which made up for my lack of cuteness.
    
42. Then something happened: He broke up with his girlfriend.
43. We started dating the following week.
44. It was a long haul, but I finally got him to marry me.
45. I love The Simpsons.
46. And South Park.
47. And Law & Order. Especially SVU.
48. And HGTV.
    
49. And the Ghost Whisperer.
50. I love TV.
51. And TiVo changed my life. Dear Lord!
52. The Targo makes fun of my TiVo choices, but once had two shows about the giant squid. So there.
    
53. I read voraciously.
54. But I'm embarrassed to elaborate on that.
55. Because my taste in books is even worse than my taste in TV shows.
    
56. I think I'm hooked on blogs.
57. Especially Mommy Blogs.
58. Because I'm obviously baby crazy.
59. Or perhaps just crazy.
    
60. I've recently become a homebody. It drives The Targo crazy because we live in a tiny, mole-hole apartment.
61. We're moving into a larger apartment this summer. Thank God.
62. My parents still live in the same house we moved into when I was 2 1/2 years old.
    
63. Since I graduated from high school, I've lived in three different towns.
64. I've moved a bajillion times. And I still have stuff in boxes.
    
65. I love living in Chicago, but I'm sort of ready to move again.
66. I want to live near the mountains. And get a couple mountain dogs.
67. I have fantasies of buying acres of land and building three houses on them: one for us, one for my in-laws, and one for my parents.
68. I think that would officially make it a compound.
69. When I was in grade school, I wrote short stories about ghosts and stuff like that.
70. When I was in high school, I wrote short romances.
71. I never much succeeded in English. And I'm sure you can see why: I write like I speak. So. NOT. Good.
72. But, I'm a miracle term paper writer. Like, 40 well-written pages overnight.
73. I firmly believe my procrastination is a character flaw. Yet I can't seem to shake it.
74. I've worked in several bars and restaurants.
75. I am now beleaguered with server anxiety and guilt. And never leave a bad tip. Even when the service is atrocious.
76. I'm addicted to The Sims 2. I'm trying to quit.
    
77. I have a potty mouth and hate it. I'm totally trying to quit that too.
78. My biggest pet-peeve is when people say "addicting."
79. Isn't that pathetic?
80. The first physical thing I tend to notice about people is eyebrows. Mine are straight across, so perhaps that's why. My other BFF, Chris, has perfect eyebrows. She could be a Vulcan.
81. I really overuse the words so, like, and yeah.
82. My mom's family motto is "If we didn't make fun of you, you wouldn't think we loved you."
83. They all suck.
84. Okay, not all of them, but many.
85. I had a friend in college who said "Here's a 'jeez whiz' fact for you..." I thought she said "Cheez Whiz fact." Now I say that all the time. In mixed company. People think I'm crazy.
86. The Wiz is playing in Chicagoland this summer.
87. If you're ever in Chicago, it's got an awesome live theater scene. You really can't go wrong.
    
88. I love musical theater.
89. I think Jesus Christ, Superstar is unparalleled in its awfulness.
    
90. But I've seen and loved Les Miserables, RENT, The Lion King, Miss Saigon and The Producers.
91. I made the mistake of taking The Targo to see Miss Saigon. He hated it because it was "so unrealistic."
92. He also rooted for Benny in RENT.
93. He's got a good heart though.
94. I liked college, but not enough to do it again. The only thing I'd do over is go to a more demanding (undergrad) school and work harder. Oh, and pick a different major. Okay, I'd totally do it all over.
    
95. I'm totally a "grass is greener" person.
96. That bothers me more than the word "addicting."
97. Why does blogger think "addicting" is a word, but doesn't recognize "blog?"
98. I reference wikipedia a lot. But firmly believe it's not reliable.
99. It's just easier than looking elsewhere.
100. I'm apparently lazy too.
101. This was really a lot harder than I thought it would be.

Weight Watchers Take Me Away!

GAH! I know everyone has New Year's Resolutions and the majority of those people have a weight loss resolution. Yeah, I'm no different. Except - except, in 2005, I had a Weight Watchers resolution and I kept it! I lost a ton of weight (on my 5'3" frame a ton is approx. 20 lbs) and I felt better than I had in about 5-6 years. It was awesome. Then came the back drama. Damn me.

I weighed myself yesterday morning, and holy crikey, I have officially gained back 12 of those 20+ pounds I lost. NO!! I have no excuse! None! I have a fridge and a microwave in my office. I pass within a block and a half of the Bally's on my walk home from the train. And, the Targo is a hot uber-ripped hottie. WHY DON'T I WANT TO COMPETE WITH THAT?

Well, I've learned one thing in my many years of awful body image, I can't beat myself up about this. It's almost a self-fulfilling prophecy: "I'm a big Fatty Fatterson, so I think I'll have another cookie." I've got to take baby steps.

So, in keeping with that, if anyone out there wants to do a support group, let me know. Aimee posts Weight Watchers Thursdays on her blog. Anyone else want to do a weekly roundup? Please, my bootay needs all the support structures it can get.

Cookies!

While eating my yummy - yet healthy - butternut squash soup for lunch, I was scanning some of my favorite blogs. As you might have guessed from yesterday's post, I have baby fever. So right now, most of my favorite blogs are moms writing about their lives. (I hesitate to say "mommy blogs" because it has such a negative connotation - for some ungodly reason.)

One of them had the results of a Cookie Test. Now, if you've spent more than thirty seconds with my ass me, you'll know that I heart chocolate chip cookies like Miss America hearts world peace. So, imagine my disappointment at the results of this:

You Are an Oatmeal Raisin Cookie

On the surface, you're a little plain - but you have many subtle dimensions to your personality. Sometimes you're down to earth and crunchy. Other times, you're sweet and a little gooey.

What Kind of Cookie Are You?

Oatmeal raisin? You can't be serious! Me? that would suggest some sort of redeeming value. Maybe the plain on the outside works... I don't know.

HT: Jaelithe (she's brilliant and funny and has a beautiful little boy.)

Oh! I also DID make it to the gym yesterday afternoon. Go me! I did not, however, get my eyebrows done. Tonight I've got dinner plans, but first I really need to cook the chicken in my fridge. So, I'll be back at Bally's tomorrow. It's an interesting crowd at 4:00. Not at all what I expected. I'm also back to documenting my Weight Watchers points. Anyone on a diet or in need of one really should try the WW Flex Plan. If you put any effort into it, it's difficult to fail. Uhm, unless you're like me and conveniently forget that chocolate chip cookies have calories, and fat, and no nutritional value. Oatmeal raisin? As if!

Starting Anew

I didn't really make any New Year's resolutions - but I gotta - I just gotta do this.

So, for the wedding, all I wanted to do was tone up. That's it. I didn't have any unrealistic goals of weighing 120 lbs - hahahahahaah - or anything like that. I just didn't want to have it be "homage to back fat," which it ended up being. Mostly because I gained ten pounds. Right before the wedding. Aren't you supposed to lose weight from anxiety? That's not what my cookie-lovin'-bootay says. *sigh*

But here's the thing. I'd really like to start our family soon. Soon? Yeah, like very soon. But, I really want to be healthy when/if I'm lucky enough to get pregnant. So, I have to do something here people! I sit at a desk for 9 hours/day and then I go home and am pretty damned sedentary. Why? Well, mostly because I'm lazy. But also? Because I've had this chronic back pain for over a year now.

The Targo and I became Weight Watchers disciples and it was going SO well. He lost all the weight he needed to in about three months and looked absolutely great. I was doing pretty well, losing 5-6 lbs per month and then we started running. Let me preface this by saying the Targo is nearly 8 inches taller than me, and I'm pretty sure it's all leg-length. I'm built like a poorly drawn cartoon character: freakishly long arms and torso, with chunky four inch long legs. Yet, for some reason, I thought I could keep up with his crazy self. Well, I couldn't. At first I was just feeling minor pain in the middle of my back. Then it became a pain so bad that I would get nauseous after sitting too long. So, I fell off the exercise and Weight Watchers bandwagon. Since then (about November 2005), I've put on 12-15 lbs and all of my muscle has turned to something best not seen or spoken about.

MUST TAKE CONTROL. I am not a tough love person. But, I am reasonable. I know that I need to fit into my work clothes because I cannot afford to buy new ones. I know I need to get to a healthy weight because I want to have a safe pregnancy. I also want to be able to keep up with my husband, who is currently training for another half-marathon (who runs 13.1 miles when they're not being chased by an axe murderer? Just wrong!) Where was I going with this? Oh right - tough love. So, here - I'm making bargains with myself. Today, I'm going to the gym after work. If I do this - and I sure as hell better - I'm going to get my eyebrows done. If I go four days this week, I'm getting a pedi/mani this weekend. I can bribe myself like that!

I need to have a vested interest in my health. And that I'll feel healthy and good for a baby.