And Another Month

Okay, for those of you who are still hanging around this silent part of the interwebs, my baby will be seven months old tomorrow. Seven. WTH?

We've been a little bit insane around here. Nathan has had a cold every three weeks this summer. Since it takes him 10-14 days to get through his system, he's only healthy one week per month. It sorta sucks. But, he's okay.

Daniel learned to crawl in late June. Shortly after that, he started pulling himself up. There is a great deal of head trauma at our house. It's okay though.

I start teaching again next week. This semester I will have two classes. I'm excited, but stressed, because they're both new classes. I have four days left, and several weeks' worth of work to complete. Meanwhile, I still have those little boys.

Joe has been really swamped at work lately, so he decided to take a long weekend this weekend. We're enjoying the staycation. We spent today in Millennium Park. Nathan loved it. Daniel loved the mirrors at the little cafe we ate at. Good times had by all.

Can you see his runny nose in this picture? Poor kid.

It was all entirely too exciting for Daniel.

Cloud Gate ---- aka The Bean

Splashing in the awesome fountains!

Adorable baby making friends with the adorable baby in the mirror!

A Whole Month

Yeah ... It's been a whole month since I've written an amazing, scintillating, thrilling, whatever-will-come-next?? blog post. Hah...

I've been trying to figure out what we've been doing. It looks sorta like this: playing in the city, hanging with dada, the zoo with friends, learning to crawl (at 5 months, SWEAR TO GOD!), and splashing around. It's been a little busy.

Little Boys

As crazy as things are, these little people still make it easy to get up in the morning.

This little one's hair is SO DARNED crazy. I just let it go. I think it's part of who he is. Also, do I have room to talk?

I'm so amazing 1) that five months has passed already, and 2) how different Daniel is than Nathan was at this age. Mostly, he sleeps and he's way fussier. But also, he's still pretty fussy. Also, you guys, I swear this is true: The kid is crawling. He's going backward, but he's up on all fours! He just turned five months on Sunday. I'm posting a video later this week. Nathan walked fairly early - around 10 months. So, I feel like we're sort of prepared.

Anyway, we're madly in love over here.

Easter

Holidays are strange for us. There's no marrying of them between our families. My family is a little estranged right now, and so we rarely do any sort of holiday festivities with them. Joe's family is tiny, so the holiday functions are always very low key and just nice. So nice.

We had Easter at Joe's cousin's house. Our kids are the only little ones in the family, so for the two years, the Easter egg hunts have been centered around Nathan. He certainly didn't mind.


This was the first time that anyone in Joe's family, aside from his parents, met Daniel. Between SNOMAGEDDON and the RSV adventure, no one had seen him yet. So, it was a nice way to introduce him.

Below is a picture of Joe's mom with Daniel. Doesn't she look great? She's done with chemo and on to radiation. She's wearing a wig, but her hair is coming back. She said she's hoping for curls like the little monkey has.

It's a new week of being a SAHM and it's definitely getting better. Thank you all for the encouragement.

The Saddest Place on Earth

Wow... has it really been a month since I published my "poor, poor me" treatise? Wow. Well... here comes some more!

About ten days ago, I was at my absolute wits end with my elder child. I love this little person more than I thought humanly possible, but really, does he have to do everything he shouldn't when I'm changing the baby's diaper, or nursing him, or (God forbid) going to the bathroom. After the one hundredth time of jumping on his train table while shouting "LOOK AT ME, MOMMY!" I took it apart. I mean, he wasn't going to not jump on it, so I had to do something. Then, I removed everything else I could from his room. There's currently a dresser with a changing table top, a bed, and an end table where the lamp and piggy bank sit. I was a bundle of nerves when Joe got home.

On most Thursdays, Joe's parents take Nathan. Now that I'm not at work, it's ridiculously inconvenient for everyone involved, but it gives Nathan good attention and it gives me a break. So, yay. The next day was Thursday.

That night, Nathan came home completely lethargic and running a fever of 102.9. I was up with him all night, because of course I was, and also with the newborn. The next morning, I called his pediatrician's office and they said not to worry about it, until he'd been feverish for three days. I mentioned that Daniel had his 2 month check up that day and could they possibly schedule Nathan for a sick appointment that day? Basically, they made me feel silly for wanting to bring him in and I let it slide. This is the one and only negative experience I've had with my pediatricians office. I love them.

So, I took the boys in for Daniel's appointment. He was fine, but I mentioned at least 8 times that Nathan was sick with a fever and that Daniel seemed more snuffly than usual. The doctor warned me that Daniel was likely to get more colds than Nathan, since Nathan would be bringing stuff home to him. That was that. We basically tried to keep Nathan comfortable that night. But, he was really sick, just no fever.

The next morning (Saturday), Daniel woke up fussier than usual. Nathan was still pretty miserable. On Sunday, Daniel was quite obviously sick. His nose was congested and he had a hard time nursing, and his normal screaminess was about ten-fold. I'll let that sink in. And poor Nathan was still coughing up his liver. It really sucked. Joe kept claiming he was getting sick too. The heat of my glare may have staved that off for a while. Up to this point, my sleeping sucked. But once Nathan got sick, I was probably sleeping less than 3 hours a night. Seriously, anxiety much?

I dealt with two sick kids by myself on Monday. (I don't know how you real people do it! Seriously, I was a mess with just two and those of you with three or more? Wow. I stand in awe.) Joe's parents offered to take Nathan on Tuesday if he was feeling better. Woo!

Monday night, going into Tuesday morning, I woke up when the baby had a coughing fit. He felt a little warm, but not too concerning. I snuggled with him and fell back to sleep. About 3 am, I woke up to him burning up. ER here I come!!! We went to the ER at Children's Memorial Hospital and he was quickly triaged. The nurse who saw him monitored him for a while and suctioned his nose and throat, trying to get him to breathe a little better. The pediatrician said there was nothing they could do, because it was just a bad cold. But, once we got home, I should suction him a couple times a day and steam him in the bathroom too. No problem .. with that three year old DEMON in the house. We got home around 6:30 am, I took Nathan to Joe's dad at 8 am and hoped to have the rest of the day to nap.

Around noon, I noticed Daniel's breathing had gotten much worse. It was much more labored, and he was having a longer time recovering from the coughing fits. I called his pediatrician's office, hoping to get seen that day. Instead, they called me back 3 hours later and told me to go back to the ER.

We got there around 4:30. At 6, the doctor who had seen us told us she'd like to admit us overnight for observation. (I keep saying "us" because someone had to be with him.) We got to the medical observation unit (a halfway house of sorts) around 10. It was ten feet away from the emergency department.

That first night, I didn't sleep at all. Daniel's O2 levels kept dropping while he slept, so they gave him a breathing treatment and then put him on oxygen. I was so sad to see him like that, but truly relieved that we were at the best place for him and that he wasn't as sick as so many other children there.

Every morning, the doctors who saw him thought he looked a lot better, but by evening, he was again failing to maintain his oxygen levels. So, after four days, they let us go home. It was so freaking stressful, and I barely slept. Thankfully, Joe's parents had Nathan and were able to keep him the whole time.

We've been home since Friday morning. We're adjusting. Nathan isn't sleeping. Daniel is, but more during the day than at night. And my mama ears are on high alert. Every cough wakes me up.

Again, I'm grateful for Children's Memorial - what an amazing place. But man, is it a sad place. During our second visit to the ER, a small boy came into triage behind us. He was the victim of a sexual assault. I saw another small child with some sort of severely debilitating disease. Just sad.

We're lucky. We're blessed.

Heart Matters

My boys, with their ridiculouly close birthdays, went to the doctor last week. Daniel had his one month check-up, and Nathan had his 3 year check-up. The big one with the amazing blue eyes is 75th percentile across the board, weighing in at 34 pounds. I'm not sure where he puts it because all of his 3T clothes fall off of his body. Also, he eats nothing. One day last week, he had half a piece of turkey sausage and some whipped cream. That's it. All day. He's awesome.

The little one with all the crazy hair landed just below the 50th percentile for height, weight, and head circumference. He weighs 10 pounds. This is so shocking to me, because he and Nathan were just four ounces apart in their birth weights, and Nathan didn't get back up to his (8 lbs 1 oz) until he was six weeks old. Way to go, Danny Boy!

While the doctor was examining Daniel, I noticed that the usual ten seconds of listening to his heart was taking way longer than normal. I played with Nathan while my mind raced. After a while (three or four minutes) the doctor said that she detected a heart murmur. My stomach sank. I'd heard of them, but didn't really know what they were. And honestly, who wants to hear anything abnormal about your four week old, especially something with the heart?

The doctor calmly explained that this is a condition that can frequently appear in infants, and most often is nothing to worry about. But, we needed to schedule an echocardiogram at Children's Memorial just in case. We set up the ultrasound for Monday.

I called Joe just before we left the doctor's office and he gently reminded me that he had a heart murmur and it had never limited him in any way. I was still scared and twitchy.

This is where I should say that my heart goes out to families whose children struggle with illness. This was simply unexpected and I'm ignorant.

Monday rolled around and it seemed like the time was flying by. Joe and the day off and we had initially planned on taking the boys to the Children's Museum at Navy Pier, but we couldn't fit it in before our appointment. So, we puttered around most of the day, then dropped Nathan off with a friend before going to the hospital.

The test itself lasted an hour and Daniel was a champ. He nursed off and on throughout the test (I cannot tell you how many people have seen my boobs in the past month!), making him less screamy than normal. The echo tech didn't tell us anything one way or the other, which only made me more nervous. After we finished, I said repeatedly to Joe, "He's going to be okay, right?" He kept assuring me that he was.

Thankfully, before I drove myself completely crazy, our pediatrician called at 8:00 Monday night. She apologized (can you believe it?!) for calling so late, but wanted to let us know that everything was fine. The heart murmur should have no impact on Daniel's life in any way.

I'm so grateful. I do feel partly stupid for getting all worked up, but really ... I'm just thankful. I'm so so so glad that this tiny little gift is totally okay. I firmly believe that you don't really know what fear is until you become a parent. If we all thought about all the bad things that could happen to our kids, we'd be basketcases. I'm glad my crazy only lasted for a few days.

Quick Pics

Memories

I should title this "memories I should remember but don't really remember because of all the drugs, omigah!" But, that's a little long.



This was me, the day after Nathan was born. MY GOSH, how perfect was that child? That's what you look like when you're a week-plus overdue and you have no birth trauma. But, mama, that's what she looks like with a c-section and subsequent DRUGS! I also didn't realize this until we got home from the hospital, but as you can see in the picture, I developed a rash on my face at some point. It might have been from the medication. Who knows? It showed up in ALL the pictures. So pretty.

This next picture was me with Daniel ... he was about 2 weeks old in this photo. Somehow, despite the lack of pain medication, I look more delirious in this picture. No rash this time, but my skin somehow looks worse. And those dark circles have had three years worth of growth, so they're eating my entire face.


This little one... he's pretty perfect too. Only one day overcooked, and had a bit of birth trauma. But still, he's a lot of awesome.

It's a Boy! Again!

Hi! Well, my life crazily changed about 4 days ago. Remember when I went to the doctor at 39 weeks 3 days? Nothing continued to happen all weekend. Monday was Martin Luther King holiday and I had another doctor appointment on Tuesday, my due date. I got there and saw my OB. He was really disappointed to see that I was no more dilated, not at all effaced, and the baby hadn't dropped. He officially put me on the c-section schedule, but still gave me another week. I was also scheduled for the nonstress test on 1/25, Nathan's birthday. If you can remember back that far, God knows I barely can, I had my nonstress test with Nathan on 1/25, and delivered him, via c-section, that night. I was convinced these two littles would have the same birthday and never EVER forgive Joe and me.

Tuesday night, I went to bed around 11:00. Nathan had a bit of a rough night, so he ended up in bed with Joe and me. Not a lot of fun. Around 1 am, I woke up with real contractions. I had downloaded a contraction timer on my iPod earlier that day and began to time them. They were about five minutes apart and not super intense. I called the on-call doctor and she told me to take a shower or a bath and just relax for a while, until they got closer together.

About 3:00, I woke up Joe, telling him he had to call his dad because my contractions were about 3 and a half minutes apart and getting more intense. I was pretty proud of myself for laboring at home for this long, but what the heck did I know. Joe's dad arrived from the suburbs around 4:00 and we left for the hospital. When we got there, they sent me to triage and I was monitored for about half hour. I was already dilated to six at that point, so they admitted me.

We went upstairs to labor and delivery where I made it clear that I wanted an epidural. I was still worried about having a c-section, so I thought it best I get some good drugs now! I finally got that epidural around 6:30-6:45, I was dilated at an 8 or a 9 by then.

This is where I give SO MUCH credit to those of you who have had natural childbirth. Seriously... that stupid epidural. The nurses were like, "You should just feel pressure, not pain." So, I'm not a wimp, not at all... but, through most of the contractions, my pain was like a 7 and then, omigosh, it spiked to a 37.

But after twelve-plus hours of labor (easy, right?) and less than two hours of pushing, I met this guy. You guys... I don't have the words, except to say that after a c-section, this birth was amazing, spiritual, magical... beyond my measly ability to express myself.

This precious bundle, Daniel John, was born at 1:44 pm on January 19th. Strangely enough, that was Nathan's due date three years prior. He weighed 8 lbs and 5 ounces and was 20.5 inches long. His hair is this dirty blonde color and has no intention of conforming to any sort of fashionable look. And his cheeks are a direct copy of mine.

We're home and adjusting, My sad little toddler, well, he's figuring things out. But we'll be fine. This life, this family, is what we've been praying for.