Easter

Holidays are strange for us. There's no marrying of them between our families. My family is a little estranged right now, and so we rarely do any sort of holiday festivities with them. Joe's family is tiny, so the holiday functions are always very low key and just nice. So nice.

We had Easter at Joe's cousin's house. Our kids are the only little ones in the family, so for the two years, the Easter egg hunts have been centered around Nathan. He certainly didn't mind.


This was the first time that anyone in Joe's family, aside from his parents, met Daniel. Between SNOMAGEDDON and the RSV adventure, no one had seen him yet. So, it was a nice way to introduce him.

Below is a picture of Joe's mom with Daniel. Doesn't she look great? She's done with chemo and on to radiation. She's wearing a wig, but her hair is coming back. She said she's hoping for curls like the little monkey has.

It's a new week of being a SAHM and it's definitely getting better. Thank you all for the encouragement.

The Saddest Place on Earth

Wow... has it really been a month since I published my "poor, poor me" treatise? Wow. Well... here comes some more!

About ten days ago, I was at my absolute wits end with my elder child. I love this little person more than I thought humanly possible, but really, does he have to do everything he shouldn't when I'm changing the baby's diaper, or nursing him, or (God forbid) going to the bathroom. After the one hundredth time of jumping on his train table while shouting "LOOK AT ME, MOMMY!" I took it apart. I mean, he wasn't going to not jump on it, so I had to do something. Then, I removed everything else I could from his room. There's currently a dresser with a changing table top, a bed, and an end table where the lamp and piggy bank sit. I was a bundle of nerves when Joe got home.

On most Thursdays, Joe's parents take Nathan. Now that I'm not at work, it's ridiculously inconvenient for everyone involved, but it gives Nathan good attention and it gives me a break. So, yay. The next day was Thursday.

That night, Nathan came home completely lethargic and running a fever of 102.9. I was up with him all night, because of course I was, and also with the newborn. The next morning, I called his pediatrician's office and they said not to worry about it, until he'd been feverish for three days. I mentioned that Daniel had his 2 month check up that day and could they possibly schedule Nathan for a sick appointment that day? Basically, they made me feel silly for wanting to bring him in and I let it slide. This is the one and only negative experience I've had with my pediatricians office. I love them.

So, I took the boys in for Daniel's appointment. He was fine, but I mentioned at least 8 times that Nathan was sick with a fever and that Daniel seemed more snuffly than usual. The doctor warned me that Daniel was likely to get more colds than Nathan, since Nathan would be bringing stuff home to him. That was that. We basically tried to keep Nathan comfortable that night. But, he was really sick, just no fever.

The next morning (Saturday), Daniel woke up fussier than usual. Nathan was still pretty miserable. On Sunday, Daniel was quite obviously sick. His nose was congested and he had a hard time nursing, and his normal screaminess was about ten-fold. I'll let that sink in. And poor Nathan was still coughing up his liver. It really sucked. Joe kept claiming he was getting sick too. The heat of my glare may have staved that off for a while. Up to this point, my sleeping sucked. But once Nathan got sick, I was probably sleeping less than 3 hours a night. Seriously, anxiety much?

I dealt with two sick kids by myself on Monday. (I don't know how you real people do it! Seriously, I was a mess with just two and those of you with three or more? Wow. I stand in awe.) Joe's parents offered to take Nathan on Tuesday if he was feeling better. Woo!

Monday night, going into Tuesday morning, I woke up when the baby had a coughing fit. He felt a little warm, but not too concerning. I snuggled with him and fell back to sleep. About 3 am, I woke up to him burning up. ER here I come!!! We went to the ER at Children's Memorial Hospital and he was quickly triaged. The nurse who saw him monitored him for a while and suctioned his nose and throat, trying to get him to breathe a little better. The pediatrician said there was nothing they could do, because it was just a bad cold. But, once we got home, I should suction him a couple times a day and steam him in the bathroom too. No problem .. with that three year old DEMON in the house. We got home around 6:30 am, I took Nathan to Joe's dad at 8 am and hoped to have the rest of the day to nap.

Around noon, I noticed Daniel's breathing had gotten much worse. It was much more labored, and he was having a longer time recovering from the coughing fits. I called his pediatrician's office, hoping to get seen that day. Instead, they called me back 3 hours later and told me to go back to the ER.

We got there around 4:30. At 6, the doctor who had seen us told us she'd like to admit us overnight for observation. (I keep saying "us" because someone had to be with him.) We got to the medical observation unit (a halfway house of sorts) around 10. It was ten feet away from the emergency department.

That first night, I didn't sleep at all. Daniel's O2 levels kept dropping while he slept, so they gave him a breathing treatment and then put him on oxygen. I was so sad to see him like that, but truly relieved that we were at the best place for him and that he wasn't as sick as so many other children there.

Every morning, the doctors who saw him thought he looked a lot better, but by evening, he was again failing to maintain his oxygen levels. So, after four days, they let us go home. It was so freaking stressful, and I barely slept. Thankfully, Joe's parents had Nathan and were able to keep him the whole time.

We've been home since Friday morning. We're adjusting. Nathan isn't sleeping. Daniel is, but more during the day than at night. And my mama ears are on high alert. Every cough wakes me up.

Again, I'm grateful for Children's Memorial - what an amazing place. But man, is it a sad place. During our second visit to the ER, a small boy came into triage behind us. He was the victim of a sexual assault. I saw another small child with some sort of severely debilitating disease. Just sad.

We're lucky. We're blessed.

It's Bad

On Sunday, we got a call from The Targo's dad, telling us that his mom's cancer was an aggressive, fast-moving one. *sigh* Fortunately, it seems that my mother-in-law is willing to fight, and fight hard. She's got a lot to fight for.

I wish we knew more, but we do know that she's preparing for chemo. It's a blessing that she's healthy enough to go through it. If you can manage to do so, please keep her in your prayers.

More of These Days

I'm not sure if I ever had it... the ability to hilariously/sweetly/thoughtfully/informatively blog about my life. But, if I did, it's certainly gone now. *sigh* I'm not sure if I'm as busy as I think I am, or if what I'm doing is that much more important than blogging. Maybe both? I dunno.

There's so much good going on right now. First, I'm 19 weeks along in a pregnancy I was convinced wasn't going to happen. Looking back, I realize what a blessing this timing was. Why? Well, another good thing is that I start my second class next week. It will end just weeks before the Jelly Bean is due to arrive. This teaching position is enabling me to quit my full-time job. Can I tell you how grateful I am? It breaks my heart to see my little guy just 1-2 hours per day. Come January, amidst the insanity of going from one to two, I will have him home with me every day. The Targo, while being the stressed one in this marriage, is not only comfortable, but excited about this. We'll see how our families react, but I know this is the best thing for my family.

And the bad... It's so bad. We've had yet another cancer diagnosis in my family, this time it's the Targo's mom. It's breast cancer and she's having outpatient surgery in a couple weeks. And honestly, that's all I know. We've got no details. In fact, we should consider ourselves lucky that we know, because she's not telling anyone. Anyone.

Could you all send up a prayer for this lady? She's got a lot on her side (her age, her general health, living in a large metro area with access to great hospitals), but I know prayer will help.

These Days

My goodness, I could not wait for 2009 to end. It did end with the passing of The Targo's grandmother. Well, 2010 is off to a mediocre start, at best.

A little over a week ago, we discovered that my great uncle has lung cancer. Like everyone in my mom's family, he's accepting this as "his lot in life" and doesn't plan to seek treatment. From what I understand, he has a good prognosis, but he's 84 and is "just ready to die." Lord.

Last night, my mom called and her older sister had to be rushed to the hospital. They discovered that her cancer, which has been in remission for nearly 10 years, is back. Or, at least she has cancer. I'm not sure if it's the same thing. I've written previously that cancer has been the curse of my mom's family. Every woman for the past three generations has died of breast, uterine, cervical or ovarian cancer. (With the exception of Great-Grandma Jones... she had some sort of rare bone cancer and died at 88.) Now, my aunt, whose expecting a new grand baby in March, is fighting for her life. It's just so sad, really.

I've begun to wonder in the past few weeks if the ease of the average American life makes us value it less. Because most of us can expect to live into our 70s, making it into middle age seems just fine... and my goodness, if we make it to 80! That's special, but then we're done. Who wants to be that old?

I mentioned before that I have no idea what it's like to be that old, or what it's like to be truly ill. I just feel that life is a fight worth fighting. This fight? It's not mine. I can only be a good niece and love these people and pray for them.