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Tuesday, November 09, 2010

On Parenting

Tonight has been one of those nights where I'm more than convinced that I am not a good parent, and I'm absolutely going to flop when I have two children.

For the last week or so, we've been able to put Nathan to bed without screaming. It takes quite a while (1-3 hours), but the quietness of it made it all worthwhile. Tonight, Lord help us, we weren't so lucky.

Our childcare situation suddenly fell through on Friday, so Nathan will be with me, The Targo, or Ti-Dah (grandpa) this week. Today, we were super busy in the morning and then Nathan managed to take a 2 hour nap. I was hoping this would make things easier tonight, since I knew exactly how long he napped. No no no. The scream fest was back! Freaking out, dry heaving, screaming in terror. Oh, yes! My house is fun! It's nights like this one that make me understand why my downstairs neighbors smoke up 3 times a night. (Actually, I don't understand and it infuriates me because it smells so bad ... but whatever.)

So, I gave up. An hour and a half of cajoling, bargaining, and finally, threatening, had worn me down to the point that I just had to walk away. I needed a time out. The Targo took over, and an hour later, Nathan seems to be sleeping.

I know he should be sleeping. I know some people say "let him cry it out." I know others say that's not the solution. But here's the truth: We haven't found anything that's really worked... and it's been over a month (i.e. we're now two to three days before mama loses her mind.) and we're still struggling. And man, I'm so freaking tired.


Becca said...

OMG you MUST be exhausted. I'm so sorry! Sleep issues are the most frustrating aspect of parenting, I think. Maybe join the neighbors for a doobie? (Just kidding)

Sarah said...

Eeek! This is not fun!! He sounds like he may (or already be) experiencing night terrors? He sounds quite anxious about going to bed (the dry heaving is so terrible). Have you tried a lavender bath before bed to relax him?

Shannon said...

Hey, pull up a chair to the bad parent table where we smoke and drink! I will tell you something but only because you are in that place where you need to hear it. I let Liam fall asleep watching tv. It is true. We lay down on the couch every night and he falls asleep watching tv. Now on the nights where I am feeling like a super charged parent, we lay down in bed and read stories, turn out the lights and practice falling asleep without the idiot box. Most parents would be appalled that I am so lazy but the truth is we were exhausted. It worked so why question it. Don't beat yourself up. You are doing the best you can just like the rest of us. Truth be told, I wouldn't be surprised if 75% of toddlers fall asleep in front of the tv and their mamas are just lying about it. You'll find what works best for you guys and don't second guess it when you do. Sending cyber hugs your way!!

AJU5's Mom said...

I think all of us need a time out periodically - and it doesn't mean we are bad parents. it just means we need a break. Kids are good at pushing buttons. Don't stress too much about it.