Really Hopeful About 2011

Remember when 2000 seemed like a crazy new era? Well, seriously ... we're in the second DECADE of the 21st century. Dudes? How nuts is that?

I'm really hoping that 2011 is a year of blessings for all of you, because I know, for us, 2010 was really difficult.

January - Well, we began the year with the news that Joe's grandma had passed away. She'd been suffering for a while, but it was still sad to say goodbye. We also discovered that my mom's uncle, her dad's twin, had terminal lung cancer. On the plus side, my little monkey turned two and my BFF had her baby girl.

February - I started making frequent trips to my hometown to see my ailing aunt. It was good to reconnect with her daughter.

March - My cousin had her baby, Alexi. We went to the Smoky Mountains with my parents - and wow, was that a good time! While I was in a fog that our year of infertility had cast, I was offered an adjunct teaching position at a local university. This opportunity changed our lives.

April - My aunt's health continued to fail and I really started to fall off from blogging. It got rather tiresome to only blog about sad things; but honestly, that was all I was feeling at the time. It had been a really rough four months.

May - Nathan and I made a trip home to see my family. It was that phone call "Please get your family here, because she's only got a day or two left." My aunt, somehow, hung on for almost another month.

June - I'd hit rock-bottom at work. The hostile work environment that I'd been dealing with for nearly 4 years had finally taken its toll on me. And, dear lord, I blogged about it. I also turned thirty-five on June 24th, the same day my aunt died.

July - July was good. Although we'd known since early June, we got to announce to our friends and family that I was expecting again. Amidst all the lousy was this very very good news.

August - My mom's uncle passed peacefully from cancer. My pregnancy, despite my advanced maternal age, was going very very well. But, Joe's mom was diagnosed with cancer. We made the tough decision, but good decision that I was going to be a stay at home mom once the Jelly Bean came along.

September - We did have the blessing of Joe not having to return to India. We're both still so grateful for that. Unfortunately, we discovered that my mother-in-law's cancer was very aggressive and that they had to start chemo right away.

October - Two months of hell began for us. Nathan went from sleeping magically (well, not really, but it was magical for us), to sleeping anywhere from 4-6 hours a night. He was afraid of the dark, monsters, and robots. Nothing we did could console him. I think I aged more between October and December than in the previous five years. A definite positive that came out of this month is that we discovered Joe's brother and his wife were expecting their first child. The blessings were piling up, encouraging my mother-in-law to fight even more.

November - I had a really terrible week, which culminated in a really terrible day (including getting rear-ended). I celebrated four years of wedded bliss with this man that I'm so proud and blessed to call my husband.

December - Most of last month was about finishing things up (not that we did). Joe also took some cute belly pictures of me. Well, the cute part was Nathan. We had a wonderful Christmas Eve with my in-laws and a great Christmas Day with my parents. My cousin, who is just so so backward, had her perfectly healthy baby girl that morning. On New Year's Eve, we celebrated with my friend Colleen and her family. And sadly, we were in bed by 10:30 that night. I wasn't that sad about missing the gunfire that inevitably erupts at midnight.

What about 2011? Well, all I've got for this year is hope. My life is going to drastically change. Our income, which isn't that substantial in the first place, is going to be cut in half, but I'm getting the opportunity to be home with my children. Two of them!

I'm also hoping to figure out what the heck to do about this blog. Am I going to start anew? Am I going to continue with it like the past year of lousy posts and sadness/self-pity didn't happen? Am I going to learn from the poorly-written navel gazing? I really don't know.

I know that I love the connections I've made through this medium. I know that I love to write. I know that I had - at one point - found a lot of solace in writing here. Can I get that back? Have any of you been to this point with your blog? If so, what did you do? Did you make it back. I'm going to think on it for the next few days and I'd love your input.