I was one of the last of my college friends to get married, but most of my Chicago friends remained single. When The Targo and I got engaged, I remember how my social life dramatically changed. I no longer went out with girlfriends on the weekends, had cocktails after work, visited out of town friends on my own (this one is because I was saving money for the wedding). I started to miss my friends, but I felt like I was moving onto a different life.
Life got crazy. I got pregnant just a few months after our wedding, we moved, and The Targo started a new job. Then we started nesting. I was tired all of the time and wanted to be at home. Besides, I left for work at 6:15 am; I was toast by 7:00 at night.
Again, most of my college friends have had children over the past two years. My closest Chicago friend has a little girl just 9 months older than Nathan. So, there are people in my life who are going through, or have just gone through, the same phase in life that I'm in. Plenty of people actually. Thank goodness. I can't tell you how many times I call Colleen and say "Nathan is doing blah-blah-blah. Is that normal??" God bless her. She's also up to the mid-day coffee date. She gets the infant "schedule."
So, what's the problem?
Things are ... different than I expected. I didn't think my in-laws would be my social life. The Targo, the sweet man he is, always offers to watch the little guy so I can go out and do things. But, again, it's about being in a different phase of life. When I get up at 4 am with a baby, and 6:00 for good, I'm too beat to go out to a wine bar at 9:00, or a movie, or a party.
We've been talking about moving to the suburbs (just the idea gives me hives). Who am I going to know out there? Besides my in-laws, I mean. Yeah, it would so rock to live in more than 750 square feet, but I am comfortable here. I love our neighborhood and its plethora of young families. I love that we're just a 10 minute drive or 45 minute walk from Colleen. I love that we live blocks away from Nathan's doctor and our vet. I love that there are people out walking at 6:00 am and 10:00 pm. But mostly, I love that my friends are here. Even though things are different for all of us, I know that we can get together without too much effort. Or using the expressway.
I'm sure this is just a minor case of the "mommy blues" and also, my despicable "grass-is-greener" attitude. But, what did you new moms do to stay connected to your friends without children? Or, if you're that friend, how did you stay connected to the new moms? Was their constant state of sleep-deprived-homebody-ness irritating, or did you understand?
*****I can't find the camera. Nathan will be three months old on Friday, so I'm certain I need to get some pictures up!