BOOM!

It was somewhere in the 60s on Friday, and on Saturday, it was cold and snowy all day long. I had made plans to go have coffee with a sweet high school-aged girl two doors down. The Targo had a million errands to run, so I took Nathan with me. As we were walking down our front stairs - about 8 of them that go up one story in approximately 5 feet - I fell. While carrying Nathan.


I didn't feel like I hurt myself, but I wasn't sure. The little monkey was hysterical for 15-20 minutes. He wasn't hurt - I held on so tightly - but he was scared, very very scared.

As a result of holding on to him, I tensed all of my muscles, hurt my back and pulled a muscle in my stomach. The bruises are now coming out - all over my arms and back. I'm probably lucky that no one at work is asking me about it.

There's a lesson here - for me anyway. I know that no matter what, I will hold on tight to Nathan. I will protect him from falls, risking my own body. And all this love, this sacrifice, is nothing compared to the sacrifice that's been given to me. My bruises are pale compared to what He suffered.

I hope I'm not offending anyone. I'm new in my faith and these ah-ha moments really touch me.

Alexi

My cousin, whose mom is very sick, had her baby on Monday. Meet Alexi.

He's a handsome little man with a head full of black hair. And I can't wait to meet him in person.

I'm so grateful that my aunt has rallied. She should be holding her newest grandchild in her arms today.

Forward

Just three weeks ago, we were outside playing in the snow. Nathan didn't really get to enjoy the snow last winter. This year, he got to play outside, build a snowman, and go ice skating (a 2 year old can ice skate when he has feet as HUGE as this one).

I think my two favorite things about parenting a toddler are experiencing the wonder in everyday things and being forced to just slow down. I find that these little things, like snowy February days flowing into unseasonably warm March ones, fuel my love of life. Whether it's building this snowman or allowing him to push the stroller all the way home, once our experience is over, we have to stop and savor them. The Targo and I will talk for weeks about how much fun we had doing these things, any thing, with Nathan.

I'm grateful to be able to stop and live it, but also to have the photos to remember these things by. I'm so looking forward to this spring and watching my handsome little toddler grow and develop into a preschooler, and then a little boy. And the joy that I've felt, having The Targo by my side, has really lifted me up. I feel like all those little prayers I lift up to God, thanking him for my very boring, very ordinary life are well-heard and heeded.

Looking Up

I feel like not only have I been Debbie Downer on this blog, but I've been a little bit down in real life. This has been manifested in my lack of sleep, massive weight gain, and my disinclination to do anything with anyone aside from my family.



Last week, I went back to my small group at church and I was so grateful. I had been praying about it and felt like the group was something I had to drop. I didn't have time for it. I loved the exercise, and when I had time to keep up, I loved the study. But the commitment was so oppressive to me. I skipped it for two weeks and then I decided I HAD to go back. I felt all this temptation to not go, but I went and it was really special, amazing. Unfortunately, I didn't make it last night. I worked late and had a migraine... so I just sat on the couch and snuggled my men. I think that's pretty spiritual.



As I turned the corner on my sadness, which I was afraid was nearing depression, God opened another door for me. I was offered an adjunct teaching position. Really? Me? The fat girl who doesn't speak up in class? Wow. It's an amazing opportunity and I feel so blessed. Most importantly, if it goes well, they're going to offer me more classes.

I feel like the horizon is brightening, but I've got to look up to see it.

First Thought

Every morning, I wake Nathan up, pretty much the same way. I rub his back, speak softly to him, tell him "good morning." Some days, it takes just a few seconds for him to wake up. Other days, I have to leave the room for a few minutes, then come back and repeat the process.

Yesterday, I woke him up to get ready for work. "Nathan, wake up. Mama's here. It's time to get up. Good morning."

It was one of those days where he woke up pretty quickly. He sat up, looked at me all groggily and said, "Where da yellow butterfly go?"

Yeah. I've got no clue either.

Conversations with a Two Year Old

Nathan: It's MAMA!
*He points to me*

Me: It is mama. It's NATHAN!"
*I point to Nathan*

Nathan: It's DADA!
*He points to The Targo*

The Targo: It's NATHAN!
*The Targo points to Nathan*

*Nathan pauses and looks around.*
Nathan: It's the NUMBER 6!

The randomness... she kills me.