Oh! The Hatred!

I've always wondered about this... Why do people either love cats or hate them? I mean, people who don't like cats never say "You know, I don't like cats." They say "I HATE CATS." What's that about? And, does their hatred extend to wishing cats and cat people harm? I've seen many a sticker/flair/bumper sticker that has said "The Only Good Cat is a Dead Cat." Does anyone talk like that about dogs?

I'm an animal person. I would have just about any animal as a pet (I'm not so into birds or snakes, but whatever floats your boat), in the past. Now that I'm a parent of a small child, I can't imagine having to take care of something more cumbersome than my cats. Who still fight EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Also, I just don't think animals are more important than people. Having said all that, I cannot figure out the venom of those who truly hate cats.

It reminds me of how most people react to Hillary Clinton... there's just no middle road.

Farewell to Socks

I know this happened on Friday, but you all know I have a heart for black and white cats. So, dear Socks, you were so cute! Omigosh.

Infrequent Posting Does Not Make You Desirable

Omigosh. We're still here. We're dog/house-sitting for my in-laws, which is nice. Strangely, not only do they have more than one bathroom (which is totally my fantasy), but they also live in more than 750 square feet. How do people live like this? All the furniture!

No really... we're doing well. The dogs officially hate me, or hate my baby. But the cats, they're in love with the windows and all of the critters that inhabit the suburbs. (At our house, they have one squirrel - but plenty of alley cruising trash pickers - to watch.) The only bad thing is that Nathan, who is not a sleeper on his best day, is not really sleeping here. I don't know if it's the new bed, the quietness, or what, but his best night consisted of seven hours sleep.

So, we're tired and can't wait to go back home.

Bullets, Snippets, Kitties, Oh My!

• Is anyone else as hooked on American Idol as I am this season? I thought the top 24, with a few WTF exceptions, was the most talented ever. I'm sad every week when someone gets eliminated. Except for those exceptions noted above. Two of the people I was sure would be in the top three are gone. (I'm pretty sure Kristabella single handedly eliminated Carly.) And I'm fascinated by the washed up crazies (and Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber) they've had coaching the finalists. But, seriously, Carly did the same arrangement of Jesus Christ, Superstar that Laura from the Grease show did. And let me just say, Laura was way better. WAY.
• I've lost 15 lbs of my baby weight. I had always heard rumors of those women who wore their pre-pregnancy jeans home from the hospital. Maybe they weren't 32 and maybe they hadn't had C-sections. Or maybe they were my insanely skinny even at 64 mother-in-law. Maybe. I blame my SLOW, very very slow, return to not-so-grande-ness on the crappy weather in Chicago. I barely left my house in February because it was so damned cold. Most of March wasn't much better. And the first two weeks of April saw both Nathan and myself with colds. And now I'm back to work. I try to get out for a mile walk every day, but it doesn't always work. Nap time and all.
• I have secret fantasies of all of my favorite bloggers moving to Chicagoland. I think Kristabella would find this very funny, considering I can't keep a date with her to save my life.
• This morning, I had Nathan on the floor, playing on his mat. Magic, being a FREAK SHOW, had the zooms and kept hurdling over the baby. I almost killed him, but I've seen how the Humane Society goes after people on the news.
• Because I'm boring, and still have no idea where the camera is, I will leave you with an old Nathan picture:

LOLPop

Rock on!

Now, you all know I'm a huge fan of LOLCats on the Icanhasacheezburger website. According to this article, our favorite "monorail kittehs" will be featured on Jones soda.

This really inspires me to take more pictures of my cats. Because what says immortality than having your fat cat featured on a bottle of blue cream soda? That's what I thought.

Oh Yeah, The Cats

* OMIGAH with the typos... yikes. *

They're back ... and they're bad.

Magic still thinks the baby is for sitting on and that pacifiers are for stealing.

What? I'm just picking up the stragglers.

Mystic is simply bewildered that Nathan may, from time to time, lie on her changing table.

It is MY house, after all.

And the little guy --- well, he hasn't really noticed the cats yet. But, being that he's my son, when he does, I'm sure he'll make this face.

On My TV ...

... and on my left nerve.

Among Thieves

Magic rejoined our family last Sunday (Mystic is enjoying a week without him). We had to pick him up early because he had, um, an appointment. You see, Magic has gingivitis. His breath smells like nothing I have ever smelled before. It's beyond horrendous. The vet felt that if he didn't get his teeth cleaned, he'd lose them at a young age --- the crazy guy is only two.

So, while millions of Americans don't have access to health care, our ridiculously spoiled cat got his teeth cleaned. I know.

Since Sunday, Magic has been making his presence known in many ways: his usual late night howling, constantly being RIGHT.THERE., and attempting to squash the baby. I can't tell you how many times I've said "Mister! We don't sit on babies in this house." It's a little strange.

Another fun aspect of Magic's return is this:


While it may look as if he's gently kissing Nathan, or perhaps EATING HIM, that's not quite what's happening here.


He's simply stealing the baby's pacifier and taking it back to his lair, erm, thermal mat. He thinks because it's white on the faux snow leopard fur that I won't notice. No such luck, buddy. I saw in your mouth as you carried it away.

Still Here...

Sorry it's taking me so long to get back into the swing of things. Monday was mine and Nathan's first day alone. It was fine, however, impossible to get anything done. Today, I showered at 4:30.

The doctor appt. on Monday went well. Nathan is back up to his birth weight and finally has a bit of an appetite. I'm still supplementing with formula - which is called "liquid magic" in this house - but hope to exclusively breastfeed in a couple of weeks.

I'm so not complaining. I feel really fortunate to have these weeks home with my little guy. And The Targo ... well, he's been just amazing. Last night, I somehow slept through the baby crying. The Targo was up at least four times and still managed to get to work this morning. He rocks.

Many of you have asked about the kitties. Well, they were extremely clingy when we got home from the hospital. Magic tried to sit on my lap while I was nursing the baby. He also wanted to sleep with Nathan. Mystic sniffed him a lot and glared at him anytime he was on her changing table. So, they're out at their vacation home in the suburbs, protecting my in-laws from mice and dust bunnies. Those cats have a rough life, I tell you.

But Warden, I R Innocent

Have you ever tried to red-eye correct an animal photo? Omigosh, it's hilarious. But seriously, why is there no glowy-eye filter for cats and dogs? Mystic and Magic are so hard to take pictures of because of their coats. But Mystic's buggy beautiful green eyes make it even more difficult.


So, here's my day:

Fair 2°F
Feels Like -15°F

And, I would totally love to go outside for a while. Perhaps walk to the library or something. But, eh... it's pretty cold, even for me. It's slick out too. Amazingly, *knock on wood*, I haven't fallen all winter long. I've had a couple of bad slips, but no falls. *knocking on wood like a madwoman*

Crime Scene

This is what I found when I got home from work. I believe the aluminum foil looks slightly disturbed.

Don't you think? I didn't find any hair or fiber evidence ...

But, just minutes later, I discovered this:

So, I think I've accepted defeat: I love Magic to pieces, the cat is stubborn, and I need a nap. I imagine Becca is 100% right: a screaming baby will keep him out of the crib.

I guess we're on to other projects.

Another Attempt

We had heard about the aluminum foil trick before. I think The Targo and I had thought we'd bypass that and pull out the big guns with the balloons. But you saw how successful that was.

So, here we are, back to the aluminum foil. Let's see if Magic wants to tackle this bad boy.



I've got to tell you, another reason I was so hesitant to try this number is that I keep picturing him chewing on the foil and it makes me want to lie in a fetal position and cry. Do you think it's a human instinct to violently react to the idea of chewing on foil? Or is it just those of us who have fillings?

Belly Watch #12

Once upon a time, there was this girl, um, let's call her Arianne-May. After a long flight from Italy, her ankles suddenly disappeared. Every day she hoped and hoped that they would return; but to no avail. One day, she decided someone had taken her ankles! She put up fliers in her neighborhood to see if anyone would return them to their rightful owner. Alas, no. Eventually, Arianne-May decided her ankles were just a myth, a happy little story she heard as child, existing only in her imagination.

Oh, hi. Seriously ... I'm sure my ankles will reappear, but it's weird to have no definition between my calves and feet. I feel like a circus freak. (I can't think of what the politically correct term for "circus freak" might be. Besides, I'm not a fan of the circus. Just creepy, mans.)

So, 39 weeks and still going strong. I really thought - for NO REASON WHATSOEVER - that the baby would be here today. Meh, whatever. I'll just keep getting rounder by the day.


In other news, we're almost done setting up "the nursery." We've got the crib and changing table put together, however, we ordered crib sheets and they haven't come in yet. So, until they do, we've had to resort to several tactics to keep the cats out of the crib.

Our first tactic was to fill it with a bunch of stuff. Mostly, we had canvas totes in there. Magic was very excited about this and jumped from one to another.

Next, we tried lining the mattress with bubble wrap. Magic jumped on the railing, and then decided the bubble wrap was creepy scary and jumped off the railing. In the process, he's managed to scratch up the crib (two small scratches) with his back claws.

Now, we've got the bubble wrap on the mattress and we've filled the crib with balloons. Hmm, don't you all wonder how that worked? Let's see.

Exhibit A.: White Sox mobile, pretty crib, bubble wrap, and balloons.

Exhibit B: Close up on bubble wrap and balloons.

Exhibit C: Magic moving the balloons so he can chill on the bubble wrap.

Tonight, we took the bubble wrap out and once again filled the crib with stuff. Perhaps we should be smarter than the cats and just keep the door shut. That might be too easy and much less entertaining.

*The Targo and I aren't really mentally deficient. The reason the door isn't closed is because "the nursery" is also The Targo's office. Also, we thought one of these tactics would work. But seriously, Magic is one stubborn cat.*

Belly Watch #10

Merry Christmas, Internets!

We celebrated with The Targo's family last night. His family is just great - and so generous. We received a lot of wonderful baby items!

Tonight, we're having dinner with my in-laws in the suburbs. And then, *sniff* we're preparing to go back to work tomorrow. A three-day week! Yay! That should be easy. Unfortunately, my job tends to pile up when I'm not there. So, it will suck. Meh.

In other news - O MAH LORD - I'm only about three and a half weeks from my due date. Jeez people, can you believe it? It's totally flown by and were I not festively plump, I wouldn't know I was pregnant most of the time. Oh and if the child was not doing calisthenics. (I'm pretty sure I don't know what that means. In my head, it's old-timey workouts with medicine balls and the like.)

But, in honor of my husband and the holiday, here's my 36 week picture. I told The Targo that we're not allowed to open it until sometime in January. You know, after we get a crib.


I mentioned Christmas cards in my previous post. Well, yeah. Hmm... really didn't get around to that this year. BUT --- I attached what would have been our Christmas card had we gotten them out.

How cute is that cat? I know many of you are not cat people, but this one, he thinks he's a dog. And, he's obviously very trainable, unless it involves staying off the table. He's not so hip to that one. (Blow up for the full effect!)


Have a Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays, gang.

May Induce Sugar-Shock from Cuteness

Magic has gotten into this habit of scaring the bejeebus out of us. It's better than his habit of digging through the trash, but still.

When I headed to the shower on Friday morning, the sight below greeted me.

Forgive the crappy quality brightness issues on these photos. It's hard to take pictures when you're staring directly into the light. So, um... yeah. Things would be much better with PhotoShop. Did you hear that, Santa?

I KNOW! I really am cute!

Tongue!

We Should Be Ashamed

The Targo: Let's open Christmas presents!

Me, looking at my imaginary watch: Well, it's really early and I don't have anything for you.

The Targo: Okay, I really just want the cats to open their presents!

Me: Aren't you the same guy who looks disapprovingly at me when I buy Magic those 99 cent mice?

*Dismissing gesture.* The Targo retrieves the cats' gifts. He gives me the two packages, wrapped in pretty snowflake paper.

I call the cats and they come, sniffing the packages.

The Targo: That one is Mystic's.

It's a thermal mat thing that uses her own body heat to keep her warm.


She's slightly afraid of it, but I'm sure she'll warm up to it. It looks good on our chair. She likes the wrapping paper though.

The Targo: I know Magic will like his gift!

It's a scratch pad that you hang on a door. Space-saving! Rock on!


He did like it. In fact, when I got up this morning, he was just sitting on it, because we haven't found a doorknob to hang it on.

The bottom line - Every time I feel like we're recovering from our CrazyCatPeopleItis, one of us does something like this. I'm trying to justify it by saying that we're just getting prepared for spoiling our children rotten. But really, we're just nuts.

I Can't Believe How Hard This Is

Are we there yet? No? It's only the 26th? *SOB*

Omigosh, I have absolutely nothing to write about. Except that I feel the need to sleep 12 hours per day. But really? Not. Interesting.

Fortunately, The Targo is just as much of a dork as I am and found a little gem on the Interweb. Craigslist is doing this "Best of..." series and mygah, this is priceless:

To my Ex-GF's Cat

---

Date: 2007-05-17, 11:26PM PDT

I don't miss her, but I miss you. You are the only cat I ever liked...and I think you liked me as I'm the only person you let pick up and walk around with. Sure, you were crabby, sounded like a rusty can when you were meowing, would ignore the laser pointer and got pissed at me when I needed to work and not pet you. Oh sure, you'd complain and make me feel bad for feeding you the same thing and at the same time as her other 2 cats, but did you notice I'd always slip you a piece of meat from my dinner plate? I know you were old and stairs were not as easy as they used to be, so I was always secretly glad and flattered to hear your voice by the bedroom door when I'd stay over. I know her kids liked the other animals in the house more then you, and I'm sorry, but I liked you better then her kids anyway. And yes, I know you watched me walk away that last time I left; I knew I wouldn't be coming back so I hope you found that catnip mouse I left in your secret hiding spot...you deserved 1 last rush in your old age.

I'm not sure if you are even still alive as I haven't been by the house since March of 05, but I hope that you are happy, warm and still catching the beam of sunlight in your favorite spot.

Anyway, just wanted you to know that you were the only cool cat I've ever known and that I miss you.

I don't know who this guy is, but I really, truly understand him.

Life As I Know It

Wake-up
There's sound on the video.

Thanks, Amy. Bwahahaha.

Three Hours of Hooky

(I hope none of you misread that.)

I was supposed to have a doctor appointment on Monday, but it was rescheduled for this morning. What sucks is that I've carefully scheduled each of my appointments so I don't have to take time off of work. I've only been at my job a little over a year. With our wedding last November and Italy this past September, I'm hurting for vacation time and am very protective of using it for anything but the impending maternity leave.

Today's appointment is scheduled for 9:50. It's one of those urine sample, weight, heartbeat, measure belly, five minute appointments. I usually work from 7:00 - 3:00, so I could have either gone into work for an hour and a half and then come back to the city, or take three hours off this morning --- for a five minute appointment. Hmm. I'm still home ... and in my pajamas at 7:30 and it's so awesome.

This would be ever more enjoyable if I wasn't home alone with my thoughts and my heartburn: The Targo left for work at 6:45 and our cats are still out at my in-laws, where they'll remain until after Thanksgiving. Rumor has it that they're enjoying themselves and keeping everyone safe from random bugs and dust bunnies. Okay, I'm bored; I totally admit it.

Because I miss my kitties, I'll leave you with some Diva pictures on this chilly Friday.

Tagged again!

Mrs. Hot tagged me ... a while back ... but I'm slow and also not interesting. So, it's taken me some time to respond.


The Rules
1. Link to your tagger and post the rules.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself, some random and some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of post and list their names.
4. Let them know they were tagged by a comment on their blog.

Okay, here we go.

• The Targo and I are both natural blondes with blue eyes. Both sets of our parents have dark hair. My mom and dad have green and hazel eyes, respectively. His parents both have brown eyes. He's totally afraid that if we have a dark-haired child, people will doubt its paternity. I'm more worried about looking like a family of clones. (Does that count as weird?)

• I can't remember if I've mentioned this, but I can hear a song once or twice (depending on how fast it is) and know nearly all of the words. This would be reason number one that I cannot listen to rap or metal: The words are so terrible.

• I've never been in a physical fight, not really. When I was 5 and my next-door neighbor was 6, she said something really mean to me, so I slapped her in the face and gave her a bloody nose. My mom made me apologize, but I didn't mean it. (Okay I was sorry, but not entirely.) In high school, I punched (in the arm) one of my best friends when he told me I had big thighs. He reported the slug to my mom and tried to tell her he said "big eyes." Lying jerk. Other than that, I've always been the victim in physical altercations. I find these stories so weird now because I honestly cannot imagine getting into a physical fight. I'm such a wimp.

• Besides my Bozophobia, I think my biggest freakism quirk is my menu anxiety. If a selection is too large, I get annoyed. Because I. LOVES. FOOD. And no matter what I order, I always want what someone else has. It's ridiculous and terrible and stupid. And I hate it. It's not so bad when I eat out with The Targo because he only orders six different things. So, I'm all, "Meh...But what's that guy six booths away eating? That looks SO GOOD!"

• I didn't think it was possible to love a job as much as I love mine. I even want to go to work when I'm sick. How messed up is that? I loved my previous job a lot too. The hardest thing about it was trying to describe to people what I did. Have you noticed if there's no television show about your job, people don't really get what you do? This is why I think there needs to be a show about grad school, because most people are like "but you don't have a job? What do you mean you only have four classes? Are you a career student?" They don't realize that for the social sciences, you have about 20 hours of reading and 20 hours of writing per week, in addition to class time. But I get it: That TV show would be almost as boring as my life. Almost. There'd be good looking people in it, so there you go.

• I've never worked in an office where there were more men than women. I don't mean the overall company, but in my division/unit. My last three jobs had a total of seven men and approximately 20 women. And, I hate to even say this, but it's true: I can't imagine more hostile working environments. I don't think it's the gender distribution, but the women themselves. I'm talking shouting, profanity-laced arguments, alliances, and back-biting like I've never seen. I've always minded my own business and have often closed doors. Twice it's been so bad that I've actually had to complain to my boss (which makes me feel catty). Has anyone else had that type of experience? Like I said, I've never worked in a male-dominated unit, but I know those experiences have been bad. EDIT: To be clear, I'm not making any negative comments about "women in the workplace" or "women in power." I've never had a problem with any of my female bosses. Many of my coworkers have simply been the type of people who 1) can't compromise, and 2) can't accept that all people don't think, work, and react the same way. Thus, UBER CONFLICT! AHHHHH!

• I am a gigantor FREAK SHOW. I have already picked out and am thinking of ordering a Halloween costume for my child - who hasn't been born. But, mygah, this is so flipping cute. (From amazon.com)

I'm a pile of mush over here! It would be perfect if it had Mystic's one black foot. Bwahaha.

Anyhoo...You all know I'm a bad tagger, so please feel tagged. I love learning random Cheez Whiz facts about you!