Farewell to Socks

I know this happened on Friday, but you all know I have a heart for black and white cats. So, dear Socks, you were so cute! Omigosh.

Infrequent Posting Does Not Make You Desirable

Omigosh. We're still here. We're dog/house-sitting for my in-laws, which is nice. Strangely, not only do they have more than one bathroom (which is totally my fantasy), but they also live in more than 750 square feet. How do people live like this? All the furniture!

No really... we're doing well. The dogs officially hate me, or hate my baby. But the cats, they're in love with the windows and all of the critters that inhabit the suburbs. (At our house, they have one squirrel - but plenty of alley cruising trash pickers - to watch.) The only bad thing is that Nathan, who is not a sleeper on his best day, is not really sleeping here. I don't know if it's the new bed, the quietness, or what, but his best night consisted of seven hours sleep.

So, we're tired and can't wait to go back home.

Bullets, Snippets, Kitties, Oh My!

• Is anyone else as hooked on American Idol as I am this season? I thought the top 24, with a few WTF exceptions, was the most talented ever. I'm sad every week when someone gets eliminated. Except for those exceptions noted above. Two of the people I was sure would be in the top three are gone. (I'm pretty sure Kristabella single handedly eliminated Carly.) And I'm fascinated by the washed up crazies (and Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber) they've had coaching the finalists. But, seriously, Carly did the same arrangement of Jesus Christ, Superstar that Laura from the Grease show did. And let me just say, Laura was way better. WAY.
• I've lost 15 lbs of my baby weight. I had always heard rumors of those women who wore their pre-pregnancy jeans home from the hospital. Maybe they weren't 32 and maybe they hadn't had C-sections. Or maybe they were my insanely skinny even at 64 mother-in-law. Maybe. I blame my SLOW, very very slow, return to not-so-grande-ness on the crappy weather in Chicago. I barely left my house in February because it was so damned cold. Most of March wasn't much better. And the first two weeks of April saw both Nathan and myself with colds. And now I'm back to work. I try to get out for a mile walk every day, but it doesn't always work. Nap time and all.
• I have secret fantasies of all of my favorite bloggers moving to Chicagoland. I think Kristabella would find this very funny, considering I can't keep a date with her to save my life.
• This morning, I had Nathan on the floor, playing on his mat. Magic, being a FREAK SHOW, had the zooms and kept hurdling over the baby. I almost killed him, but I've seen how the Humane Society goes after people on the news.
• Because I'm boring, and still have no idea where the camera is, I will leave you with an old Nathan picture:

LOLPop

Rock on!

Now, you all know I'm a huge fan of LOLCats on the Icanhasacheezburger website. According to this article, our favorite "monorail kittehs" will be featured on Jones soda.

This really inspires me to take more pictures of my cats. Because what says immortality than having your fat cat featured on a bottle of blue cream soda? That's what I thought.

Sorry ...

I keep writing posts and then get distracted. So, the posts, which I'm sure are profound, witty, and just plain GLORIOUS, don't get published.

Eh ... Here's a cat photo to make up for my suckiness. Mystic totally inspires me to kick back and relax.

Oh Yeah, The Cats

* OMIGAH with the typos... yikes. *

They're back ... and they're bad.

Magic still thinks the baby is for sitting on and that pacifiers are for stealing.

What? I'm just picking up the stragglers.

Mystic is simply bewildered that Nathan may, from time to time, lie on her changing table.

It is MY house, after all.

And the little guy --- well, he hasn't really noticed the cats yet. But, being that he's my son, when he does, I'm sure he'll make this face.

On My TV ...

... and on my left nerve.

Among Thieves

Magic rejoined our family last Sunday (Mystic is enjoying a week without him). We had to pick him up early because he had, um, an appointment. You see, Magic has gingivitis. His breath smells like nothing I have ever smelled before. It's beyond horrendous. The vet felt that if he didn't get his teeth cleaned, he'd lose them at a young age --- the crazy guy is only two.

So, while millions of Americans don't have access to health care, our ridiculously spoiled cat got his teeth cleaned. I know.

Since Sunday, Magic has been making his presence known in many ways: his usual late night howling, constantly being RIGHT.THERE., and attempting to squash the baby. I can't tell you how many times I've said "Mister! We don't sit on babies in this house." It's a little strange.

Another fun aspect of Magic's return is this:


While it may look as if he's gently kissing Nathan, or perhaps EATING HIM, that's not quite what's happening here.


He's simply stealing the baby's pacifier and taking it back to his lair, erm, thermal mat. He thinks because it's white on the faux snow leopard fur that I won't notice. No such luck, buddy. I saw in your mouth as you carried it away.

But Warden, I R Innocent

Have you ever tried to red-eye correct an animal photo? Omigosh, it's hilarious. But seriously, why is there no glowy-eye filter for cats and dogs? Mystic and Magic are so hard to take pictures of because of their coats. But Mystic's buggy beautiful green eyes make it even more difficult.


So, here's my day:

Fair 2°F
Feels Like -15°F

And, I would totally love to go outside for a while. Perhaps walk to the library or something. But, eh... it's pretty cold, even for me. It's slick out too. Amazingly, *knock on wood*, I haven't fallen all winter long. I've had a couple of bad slips, but no falls. *knocking on wood like a madwoman*

Crime Scene

This is what I found when I got home from work. I believe the aluminum foil looks slightly disturbed.

Don't you think? I didn't find any hair or fiber evidence ...

But, just minutes later, I discovered this:

So, I think I've accepted defeat: I love Magic to pieces, the cat is stubborn, and I need a nap. I imagine Becca is 100% right: a screaming baby will keep him out of the crib.

I guess we're on to other projects.

Another Attempt

We had heard about the aluminum foil trick before. I think The Targo and I had thought we'd bypass that and pull out the big guns with the balloons. But you saw how successful that was.

So, here we are, back to the aluminum foil. Let's see if Magic wants to tackle this bad boy.



I've got to tell you, another reason I was so hesitant to try this number is that I keep picturing him chewing on the foil and it makes me want to lie in a fetal position and cry. Do you think it's a human instinct to violently react to the idea of chewing on foil? Or is it just those of us who have fillings?

Belly Watch #12

Once upon a time, there was this girl, um, let's call her Arianne-May. After a long flight from Italy, her ankles suddenly disappeared. Every day she hoped and hoped that they would return; but to no avail. One day, she decided someone had taken her ankles! She put up fliers in her neighborhood to see if anyone would return them to their rightful owner. Alas, no. Eventually, Arianne-May decided her ankles were just a myth, a happy little story she heard as child, existing only in her imagination.

Oh, hi. Seriously ... I'm sure my ankles will reappear, but it's weird to have no definition between my calves and feet. I feel like a circus freak. (I can't think of what the politically correct term for "circus freak" might be. Besides, I'm not a fan of the circus. Just creepy, mans.)

So, 39 weeks and still going strong. I really thought - for NO REASON WHATSOEVER - that the baby would be here today. Meh, whatever. I'll just keep getting rounder by the day.


In other news, we're almost done setting up "the nursery." We've got the crib and changing table put together, however, we ordered crib sheets and they haven't come in yet. So, until they do, we've had to resort to several tactics to keep the cats out of the crib.

Our first tactic was to fill it with a bunch of stuff. Mostly, we had canvas totes in there. Magic was very excited about this and jumped from one to another.

Next, we tried lining the mattress with bubble wrap. Magic jumped on the railing, and then decided the bubble wrap was creepy scary and jumped off the railing. In the process, he's managed to scratch up the crib (two small scratches) with his back claws.

Now, we've got the bubble wrap on the mattress and we've filled the crib with balloons. Hmm, don't you all wonder how that worked? Let's see.

Exhibit A.: White Sox mobile, pretty crib, bubble wrap, and balloons.

Exhibit B: Close up on bubble wrap and balloons.

Exhibit C: Magic moving the balloons so he can chill on the bubble wrap.

Tonight, we took the bubble wrap out and once again filled the crib with stuff. Perhaps we should be smarter than the cats and just keep the door shut. That might be too easy and much less entertaining.

*The Targo and I aren't really mentally deficient. The reason the door isn't closed is because "the nursery" is also The Targo's office. Also, we thought one of these tactics would work. But seriously, Magic is one stubborn cat.*

Belly Watch #10

Merry Christmas, Internets!

We celebrated with The Targo's family last night. His family is just great - and so generous. We received a lot of wonderful baby items!

Tonight, we're having dinner with my in-laws in the suburbs. And then, *sniff* we're preparing to go back to work tomorrow. A three-day week! Yay! That should be easy. Unfortunately, my job tends to pile up when I'm not there. So, it will suck. Meh.

In other news - O MAH LORD - I'm only about three and a half weeks from my due date. Jeez people, can you believe it? It's totally flown by and were I not festively plump, I wouldn't know I was pregnant most of the time. Oh and if the child was not doing calisthenics. (I'm pretty sure I don't know what that means. In my head, it's old-timey workouts with medicine balls and the like.)

But, in honor of my husband and the holiday, here's my 36 week picture. I told The Targo that we're not allowed to open it until sometime in January. You know, after we get a crib.


I mentioned Christmas cards in my previous post. Well, yeah. Hmm... really didn't get around to that this year. BUT --- I attached what would have been our Christmas card had we gotten them out.

How cute is that cat? I know many of you are not cat people, but this one, he thinks he's a dog. And, he's obviously very trainable, unless it involves staying off the table. He's not so hip to that one. (Blow up for the full effect!)


Have a Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays, gang.

May Induce Sugar-Shock from Cuteness

Magic has gotten into this habit of scaring the bejeebus out of us. It's better than his habit of digging through the trash, but still.

When I headed to the shower on Friday morning, the sight below greeted me.

Forgive the crappy quality brightness issues on these photos. It's hard to take pictures when you're staring directly into the light. So, um... yeah. Things would be much better with PhotoShop. Did you hear that, Santa?

I KNOW! I really am cute!

Tongue!

We Should Be Ashamed

The Targo: Let's open Christmas presents!

Me, looking at my imaginary watch: Well, it's really early and I don't have anything for you.

The Targo: Okay, I really just want the cats to open their presents!

Me: Aren't you the same guy who looks disapprovingly at me when I buy Magic those 99 cent mice?

*Dismissing gesture.* The Targo retrieves the cats' gifts. He gives me the two packages, wrapped in pretty snowflake paper.

I call the cats and they come, sniffing the packages.

The Targo: That one is Mystic's.

It's a thermal mat thing that uses her own body heat to keep her warm.


She's slightly afraid of it, but I'm sure she'll warm up to it. It looks good on our chair. She likes the wrapping paper though.

The Targo: I know Magic will like his gift!

It's a scratch pad that you hang on a door. Space-saving! Rock on!


He did like it. In fact, when I got up this morning, he was just sitting on it, because we haven't found a doorknob to hang it on.

The bottom line - Every time I feel like we're recovering from our CrazyCatPeopleItis, one of us does something like this. I'm trying to justify it by saying that we're just getting prepared for spoiling our children rotten. But really, we're just nuts.

Three Hours of Hooky

(I hope none of you misread that.)

I was supposed to have a doctor appointment on Monday, but it was rescheduled for this morning. What sucks is that I've carefully scheduled each of my appointments so I don't have to take time off of work. I've only been at my job a little over a year. With our wedding last November and Italy this past September, I'm hurting for vacation time and am very protective of using it for anything but the impending maternity leave.

Today's appointment is scheduled for 9:50. It's one of those urine sample, weight, heartbeat, measure belly, five minute appointments. I usually work from 7:00 - 3:00, so I could have either gone into work for an hour and a half and then come back to the city, or take three hours off this morning --- for a five minute appointment. Hmm. I'm still home ... and in my pajamas at 7:30 and it's so awesome.

This would be ever more enjoyable if I wasn't home alone with my thoughts and my heartburn: The Targo left for work at 6:45 and our cats are still out at my in-laws, where they'll remain until after Thanksgiving. Rumor has it that they're enjoying themselves and keeping everyone safe from random bugs and dust bunnies. Okay, I'm bored; I totally admit it.

Because I miss my kitties, I'll leave you with some Diva pictures on this chilly Friday.

My Evening of Trying NOT to Stick My Foot in My Mouth

Dudes! I had so much fun last night! The very pretty, fabulously funny, and totally too cool to be slumming with the likes of me, Kristabella agreed to have dinner with me. She writes some of the funniest stuff on the internet and is just as laugh-out-loud funny (despite what she says) in person. She was even kind enough to not comment on my bad hair and larger-by-the-day belly. Well, she did comment, but it was sweet.

*Kristabella wrote a much more hilarious and eloquent post than I could hope to write, but I have to tell you kids how fabulous she is. And also, that I think meeting bloggers is awesome.*

I was so nervous - like first date nervous - that I was afraid I'd say something like "I love cake" and have to flee the restaurant in shame. It didn't happen, thank God. Nor did I throw my fork when I while spastically talking with my hands. Two-for-two. Rock! The conversation flowed easily: What I found funny is that although we have a lot in common (love of sports, living in Chicago, playing saxophone in band, and thinking Bacon posts are hilarious), we mostly talked about other things. I was completely charmed!

And also, I'm a jerk and sabotaged her diet. (I'm so sorry. I know guacamole and chocolate-covered plantains are not really that good for you. But yummy, right?) But, I had such a great time and hope to hang out again. Can you ever have too many smart and funny friends?

She's so pretty, isn't she? And, is that a Peanut in my belly

or an entire bowl of guacamole? No one told me there would

be days where your belly is huge and then days where you just look fat.

Completely unrelated ... When I got home last night, my cats were nowhere to be found. We had requested some maintenance on our heater (yes, it was 90 on Saturday and 50 on Wednesday), so I was a little concerned that little sneaks went into the attic or got out. Little did I know there was a convention going on, and I so wasn't invited.

Black and white cats only! You go! You go now!

Lastly, I'm down to 100 days to Peanut! I know, I know. It's an estimated due date. Wow, this time has flown by.

Actually... One last thing ... Today is my mom and dad's 33rd wedding anniversary. It's pretty amazing in my mind. And my dad? He's one lucky man.

How Bizarre #2

In my dreams, I'm under the impression that I'm a superhero. Awesome right? But for some reasons, all the villains go after Mystic. I just don't understand.

The other night, it was a particularly evil bad guy who stole my kitty. She fought back because she's a biter trooper. Mystic took the guy down and bit the daylights out of him. In true litigious American fashion, the bad guy pressed charges against Mystic.

I stood there helplessly as the police officer put Mystic in an evidence envelope (these are sometimes just manila envelopes) with just her little head sticking out. And then, he put her into a FedEx box.

From my vantage point of on high (wherever the hades I happened to be), I saw this occurring. In a run that may have saved me from the zombies, I went all crazy cat lady on 5-0.

I saved her! I did! And she bit me. And I woke up. And she was biting me.

Cat Abuse

*EDIT* With Crazy Cat Lady Pictures.

We're getting a new dishwasher today, so the poor cats will be locked in the Peanut-Room/office until late this evening.

Fortunately, we received another generous package from Amy last night. Not only did it have more Peanut supplies, but there was also something for the cats.

Mine!

What's going on in there?

MINE!!!

*Peek*

*ATTACK!!!*

So, unlike when we'd have to incarcerate them in the molehole, they have windows! comfy chairs! and an awesome cat-shaped cat tent! They're such spoiled jerks.

Peanut Starter Kit

I have to be honest here. I haven't been talking too much about my pregnancy to anyone, except my family, because there's nothing to report. Thank God. I feel great. I haven't been sick. My energy level is a little sub-par, but mostly I'm fine. One blip on the radar aside, it's been uneventful. And, I'm so grateful.

I am fortunate that so many of my friends have had babies in the past year and a half. Not only do I have a plethora of advice, but people have also been very generous in offering hand-me-downs. Is that a Midwestern-ism?

So, approximately 21 weeks Pre-Peanut, we are already collecting a good amount of "supplies" before any sort of baby shower. (Sorry for the photo quality. I didn't realize how dark our bedroom was.)

"Aunt" Amy sent us a ton of bottles and feeding supplies.

The Targo's parents bought us a pack of newborn diapers.

Amy sent us some sleepers and my mom bought us a couple onesies.

Whether we have a boy or a girl, this child will be a baseball fan. This is one of my finds. The blue? Well, apparently baseball is never neutral. I'm not overly concerned if I have a boy who has pink stuff or a girl who has blue stuff. I just don't have those issues. The poor kid will have his/her whole life to be inundated with that. The Targo? I'm not sure he's one the same page with that one.

"Aunt" Colleen also bought Peanut his/her first books. Goodnight Moon and Pat the Bunny are books one and two of what will surely be an extensive library.

We also collect black and white cats, so Peanut will have someone to snuggle and chase... If he/she's lucky, Mystic will share her sunny spots.