A Quick Note

About the baby pool: The responses are weighted. So, even if you didn't guess the correct birthdate (which may be in 2009), you can still win. However, if you guessed the wrong gender? Sorry. :(

Oh Yeah ... Updates ...

Does anyone watch "The First 48?" (Can you tell I've done little but watch television for the past three days? Oh my lord ...)

I saw my doctor today and I'm 2 cm dilated. I've got that nonstress test scheduled for Friday, a follow-up appointment on Monday, and then (if Peanut hasn't arrived) we begin discussing induction.

However, I haven't felt so hot today. I'm hoping that's a good sign. As soon as I got home this morning, I began having more contractions. They're mostly medium in intensity, but some are a little more, um, intense. I'm also a bit weepy, which isn't like me at all. And third, I just feel icky. I'm hoping these aren't all psychological processes protecting me, but rather signs from my body that it's almost time. Right, body? Right?!?!?!

Many people have recommended that I use this time to read parenting books, but um, I haven't really done that. Others have suggested cooking a lot of food and freezing it. Hmm... yeah, no. Look at me - not following anyone's advice. I suck. I've mostly been napping and watching TV (see above). At least I'm well-rested.

And that's about it from here. I hope all of you are having a good week.

... Um ... Nothing to Report

Hi! Still here. I'm feeling OK. I had moderate to severe contractions for an hour and a half last night. They were somewhat spaced out (3 to 12 minutes apart). And then I fell asleep. Today? I'm back to mild contractions at fairly long intervals. I'm assuming this is normal? (Any reassurance available would be awesome!)

If nothing happens today, I have an appointment with my doctor in the morning. Hopefully, I'll get a better read then.

I am going a little bit crazy with nothing to do. I guess I could take another nap (at 8 am?) or something.

Maybe If The Chargers Win, I'll Go Into Labor

Yup. We're still here. I actually thought things were happening last night. So much so that we called my doctor. She told me to wait it out, until my contractions became more intense. Instead of intensifying, they went away and I went to bed. Needless to say, the poor Targo got NO sleep.

I'm spending the day/evening watching football. Currently, I'm throwing things at my TV and spewing irrational hate at the New England Patriots.

How are you all today?

(Estimated) Due Date

Um... Peanut?

Hmm... I'm still feeling fine. I've been having contractions off and on for about a week or so. When I went to the doctor on Thursday, I made two additional appointments, including a "non-stress test." That's for Friday and I cannot tell you how much I hope I don't need it. I already feel like I'm pregnant with a 30 lb. baby. Okay, okay, that's just what my belly weighs. GAH!

More later...

Unplannable Planning

Just thinkin' in type ... so you know it's even more scattered than usual.

Today is my last day at work. Probably. Over the past week (and yes, I know I'm super lucky), I've been having a hard time sleeping; thus, 5:15 comes freaking early (which is why it's been nearly 6:00 the past two days).

I had this ridiculous goal of being able to work until the 31st (with my Jan. 19th est. due date), because of this awesome training I wanted to attend. However, being at the end of my 39th week, I realize I was ABSOLUTELY INSANE when having those thoughts! Because I? Am so done with work. I have this morbid fear of going into labor any place other than home, but especially work. Also, sitting in an office chair all day (my job is way sedentary) makes those feet pressed against my ribs even more uncomfortable.

What's difficult/interesting about maternity leave is all of the planning you have to do up front. I had to submit paperwork for the days that I'll be taking as sick, unpaid, or vacation, and it's so hypothetical. I am filling out health insurance paperwork that's asking me for date of birth, sex, name of the baby -- again, all things I don't know. It's silly, but the required planning takes some of the fun out of the surprise.

So, what if I take off after today and I don't have the baby for two more weeks? I guess those are two weeks subtracted from my leave, time I won't get to spend with the baby. At this point, I am so OK with that.

Please remind me of that in three months.

Crime Scene

This is what I found when I got home from work. I believe the aluminum foil looks slightly disturbed.

Don't you think? I didn't find any hair or fiber evidence ...

But, just minutes later, I discovered this:

So, I think I've accepted defeat: I love Magic to pieces, the cat is stubborn, and I need a nap. I imagine Becca is 100% right: a screaming baby will keep him out of the crib.

I guess we're on to other projects.

Another Attempt

We had heard about the aluminum foil trick before. I think The Targo and I had thought we'd bypass that and pull out the big guns with the balloons. But you saw how successful that was.

So, here we are, back to the aluminum foil. Let's see if Magic wants to tackle this bad boy.



I've got to tell you, another reason I was so hesitant to try this number is that I keep picturing him chewing on the foil and it makes me want to lie in a fetal position and cry. Do you think it's a human instinct to violently react to the idea of chewing on foil? Or is it just those of us who have fillings?

Belly Watch #12

Once upon a time, there was this girl, um, let's call her Arianne-May. After a long flight from Italy, her ankles suddenly disappeared. Every day she hoped and hoped that they would return; but to no avail. One day, she decided someone had taken her ankles! She put up fliers in her neighborhood to see if anyone would return them to their rightful owner. Alas, no. Eventually, Arianne-May decided her ankles were just a myth, a happy little story she heard as child, existing only in her imagination.

Oh, hi. Seriously ... I'm sure my ankles will reappear, but it's weird to have no definition between my calves and feet. I feel like a circus freak. (I can't think of what the politically correct term for "circus freak" might be. Besides, I'm not a fan of the circus. Just creepy, mans.)

So, 39 weeks and still going strong. I really thought - for NO REASON WHATSOEVER - that the baby would be here today. Meh, whatever. I'll just keep getting rounder by the day.


In other news, we're almost done setting up "the nursery." We've got the crib and changing table put together, however, we ordered crib sheets and they haven't come in yet. So, until they do, we've had to resort to several tactics to keep the cats out of the crib.

Our first tactic was to fill it with a bunch of stuff. Mostly, we had canvas totes in there. Magic was very excited about this and jumped from one to another.

Next, we tried lining the mattress with bubble wrap. Magic jumped on the railing, and then decided the bubble wrap was creepy scary and jumped off the railing. In the process, he's managed to scratch up the crib (two small scratches) with his back claws.

Now, we've got the bubble wrap on the mattress and we've filled the crib with balloons. Hmm, don't you all wonder how that worked? Let's see.

Exhibit A.: White Sox mobile, pretty crib, bubble wrap, and balloons.

Exhibit B: Close up on bubble wrap and balloons.

Exhibit C: Magic moving the balloons so he can chill on the bubble wrap.

Tonight, we took the bubble wrap out and once again filled the crib with stuff. Perhaps we should be smarter than the cats and just keep the door shut. That might be too easy and much less entertaining.

*The Targo and I aren't really mentally deficient. The reason the door isn't closed is because "the nursery" is also The Targo's office. Also, we thought one of these tactics would work. But seriously, Magic is one stubborn cat.*

My Precious

Question to all of you previously pregnant women out there: Did you take off your engagement ring/wedding band before you went to the hospital? My rings still fit, but I had heard that you really swell at the hospital due to all of the fluids they give you.

Thank ya!

Belly Watch #11

*Edit* I'm going to try to post every day, even if it's something super lame, until the baby is born. I was thinking about how frustrating it is when you're waiting around for a blogger friend to have a baby ... and suddenly she doesn't post for three days and you're thinking "Yay! Baby." But really, it's because she's been way too busy eating all of the ice cream in the house.

You know, I'm feeling pretty good, aside from my rib dysfunction thingie. But, I have to tell you, I'm about done. Thank you to the moms out there who told me that I'm not a wimp, because these last couple of weeks are really hard. I just feel like a wimp, seriously. I cannot tell you how many naps I've taken in the past week. I know many of you are thinking "Man, I wish I could take naps!" Well... they're awesome, it's true. But I wish I could sleep at night. Here's why I can't:

*cough*Belly*

*cough*Magic*

He knocked this box down - without breaking any of the glasses - just two hours after this photo was taken. Dork.

Dysfunction

Gah... two weeks and counting. I'm very uncomfortable today and my back - it hurts a lot. I'm not sure I explained my actual injury. Somehow, when The Targo and I started running, I hurt the muscles between my shoulders. Because it was painful, I actually altered the way I stand, the way I sit, and my gait, which resulted in a rib dysfunction. I have no idea what that is either... but after a year (plus) of chiropractic care and physical therapy, I was feeling good. And then I got pregnant. And suddenly, this baby got really big. And the rib dysfunction is quite dysfunctional and I smell ... like Icy Hot ... like, all the time. This is just a big whine and really, I don't know why I had to share. Meh.

So anyway, The Targo and I were at his parents' house tonight, going through baby pictures. Good lawd, he was a cute kid. Unfortunately, they didn't have their scanner hooked up, so no pics for you.

I recently visited my aunt's website and found a couple of pictures from when I was little. Man... the Seventies and photos. What the heck was up with that orange color that all the pictures seemed to have. And don't get me started on Grandma Jones' ugly furniture... Especially her davenport (real people may say sofa or couch.). Lucky for you, I cropped it out! Heh.

Here are two shots I found. I had to crop people out of them though, thus the awkwardness.


This is a shot of my youngest brother, Chris, and me. The caption says 1977... so, I would have been almost two. I'm not sure if that's right. What I know is wrong - Chris's knee socks. Seriously? Oh and the LPGA visor is not a good look. At all.


This next picture is allegedly Christmas of 1979, which I know is a lie. I think this was 1982. Looking back to my second grade picture (in my mind), that sounds about right. There's never been a four year old that tall. So, I'm thinking I was 7.

All of this babbling and silliness has a point. What say you, internets? Is this my nose?

Preparing for Peanut

*Edited 1/12... we're so timely*

We're in the last few weeks/days of swinging DINK status, so Mr. Type A The Targo and I are trying really hard to get everything done that we possibly can.

So... Lists! I love Lists! (So much so that I think they deserve capital letters!)

Things we need to buy:

• Crib - ordered, to be delivered before baby (hopefully). It's in!! We're picking it up tonight (1/3)!
• Changing table
• Mattress - purchased 12/27
• Mattress pads/sheets
• Decor
• Going home outfit
• Car seat - installed 12/31
• Stroller
• Diaper pail thingy
• Breastfeeding supplies
• Playmat
• Glider rocker
• Nursing bras/tanks (Oh, the Google searches)

Also, things we need to do:

• Pack hospital bags for me and The Targo and put said bags into car
• Finish phone tree
• Complete "Oh dear Lord, what happens if I go into labor at work?" contingency plan
• Birth plan
• Find pediatrician
• Get in-laws keys to our house (The kitties! For the love of Pete, will someone think of the kitties!)

Please keep in mind that we live in 700 square feet and the "nursery" (ahem, office with crib) is only 8'x10' with an oddly placed closet and an awkwardly placed door. But, if you have any suggestions or MUST HAVES that we missed, please leave that info in the comment. I'm going to be updating these until the baby is born. Feedback = good.

Giving Ego Boosts to Snails Everywhere

Our normally lame-as-all-get-out weekend was spiced up a little bit by a visit from my parents. I miss my parents tremendously and so wish my mom was closer as I'm in the latter part of my pregnancy. But, there were four of us, plus two clingy cats, in 700 square feet for much of the weekend. It was a bit chilly in Chicago - and very slick out - so we didn't have much planned, aside from a visit to the Field Museum. We are SO FUN. I know you just want to hang with us!

Originally, we had planned on going to the museum on Saturday, but my parents arrived a day later. So, Sunday it was. That's all fine and good, but Sunday was also the day of the last darned Bears game. Unbeknownst to me, you're not allowed to park in the museum parking lot if you're actually going to the museum on Bears game days. WTH? We had to park about two miles away, for $20 (more than the museum lot, because, you know, it was game day) and take a shuttle that left every 20 minutes or so back to Soldier Field, and walk from there to the museum (not too far... half mile-ish). Needless to say, I was crabby. My mom was a touch crabby. And my dad, well he's old-ish, and was a little bit crabby. The Targo was just rolling with it, but I think he was afraid of being the tipping point.


So, after about 3 hours at the museum and my family leaving me in their dust, I was so done. I'm pretty sure I took a seat every time I saw a bench.

Aside - I had heard all of these stories about "Omigosh, people were so nice to me when I was pregnant! People smiled at my belly, held doors for me, gave me their seats... it gave me hope for humanity..." Um. Really? Yesterday, I was having one of those brazen hicks contractions and looking in vain for a seat nearby (don't worry, I've only had like, three). There was a 20-something dude and a 50-something dude sitting on a bench with just enough "I'm-a-heterosexual" space between them, but no room for my large backside. So, I wondered: Do I just look fat, or are people in Chicago really rude, or should I start shoving people out of the way? No really. I don't feel entitled; I'm just surprised that I haven't had the "everyone is so nice..." experiences. At all. /Aside

Anyway, I'm really starting to slow down. I'm not exactly waddling, just moving slower. Obviously, I knew this was going to happen, but just hoped I'd be immune. For some ridiculous reason.


After work, we're getting our car seat properly installed, all professional-like.

Cute, eh?

I've also got grand plans of finishing laundry and packing my hospital bag. If any of you have advice on what I absolutely-ohdearlord-need, please let me know. I'm totally winging it over here.

I Know I SHOULD Be Freaking Out...

But I'm really okay ... Look at this:


Three weeks (give or take) doesn't seem like much time to get my life together, but what can you do? When I start being a crazy, crazy woman, I listen to this ridiculously hypnotic song. I can't tell if I like it, or if I've been drinking the special Kool-Aid.

For those of you who were worried, The Targo and I did buy a crib. It won't be here for another week. But don't fret! We weren't going to make the poor child sleep on the floor. Or in the cat bed. That spot is already taken anyway. (Freaky glowy-eyed cat. EEP!)


My mom and dad will be here today! They're spending the weekend with us because I didn't make it to their house for Christmas. I'm still not done with their gifts. Really, I have to be the world's worst gift-giver this year. Unbelievable. No cards or gifts sent out. The Targo and I had an imagination Christmas (no gifts, just chucks on the shoulder that say "Hey, Merry Christmas, man."). I have to confess, I'm totally fine with that. He's getting to like the finer (*cough* expensive) things in his old age. And also, his penchant for SELLING EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE makes buying for him very challenging.

Don't forget to play The Peanut Game. Because hey, Free Starbucks!

Peanut Poll --- The "OMG It's Almost Time" Edition

I know I've written this before, but thank you all for the sweet comments, well-wishes, and support during this pregnancy. I think you are one of the biggest reasons I'm not insane at this point. Hugs to the lot of you!

I was wondering if perhaps there was a way I could pay you back for your sweetness ... Well, because I don't have a million dollars, the only other thing I could come up with is a contest that actually has a (small, very small) prize.

So ...

Here's what the poll looks for: gender, weight, length, and birthdate/time. And also, tell me a little bit about yourself, so I know if you're a regular reader, just a nice person who stopped by because they were googling "nerve damage" or "crazy cat lady + pictures", or some drive by creep! The "official rules" (*snort*) are on the poll page.

I have absolutely no idea if a little information about The Targo and me will help or just convolute things. I'm so surrounded by Old Wives' Tales that I have lost track of what might be true or not: The Targo was in the 7 1/2 lb. range and was a day early. I was in the 8 1/2 lb. range and a day late. If you know either of us, these numbers would not surprise you. *raises fist and curses The Targo's long skinny legs and punctuality*

So, please feel free to play along. And if you're a non-commenter, this would be a great time to introduce yourself!

Overheard at My Place

Me: "I think I had a contraction."

The Targo: "It must have been one of those brazen hicks."

Me: "Who?"

The Targo: "You know, one of the fake contractions."

Me: "Yeah, Braxton Hicks contractions. Goof... But seriously, I sure hate them there brazen hicks contractions."

Belly Watch #10

Merry Christmas, Internets!

We celebrated with The Targo's family last night. His family is just great - and so generous. We received a lot of wonderful baby items!

Tonight, we're having dinner with my in-laws in the suburbs. And then, *sniff* we're preparing to go back to work tomorrow. A three-day week! Yay! That should be easy. Unfortunately, my job tends to pile up when I'm not there. So, it will suck. Meh.

In other news - O MAH LORD - I'm only about three and a half weeks from my due date. Jeez people, can you believe it? It's totally flown by and were I not festively plump, I wouldn't know I was pregnant most of the time. Oh and if the child was not doing calisthenics. (I'm pretty sure I don't know what that means. In my head, it's old-timey workouts with medicine balls and the like.)

But, in honor of my husband and the holiday, here's my 36 week picture. I told The Targo that we're not allowed to open it until sometime in January. You know, after we get a crib.


I mentioned Christmas cards in my previous post. Well, yeah. Hmm... really didn't get around to that this year. BUT --- I attached what would have been our Christmas card had we gotten them out.

How cute is that cat? I know many of you are not cat people, but this one, he thinks he's a dog. And, he's obviously very trainable, unless it involves staying off the table. He's not so hip to that one. (Blow up for the full effect!)


Have a Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays, gang.

Distorted

I had an appointment on Wednesday. It was one of those quickies - urine, weight, blood pressure, baby's heartbeat, and measuring my belly. My doctor was concerned because I'm nearly in my ninth month and I'm "measuring small."

As I'm a heavier woman, I think my perception of my weight is probably different than outsiders' perception of my weight. I was shocked when people didn't notice that I went from having a fairly manageable gut to "MY GOODNESS, YOU ARE LARGE!" But most people didn't. It never occurred to me until I had a medical professional say it, that I'm just not that large. Despite all of the taunts from my brothers or the occasional mean person, I'm really not.

So my doctor scheduled me for another ultrasound this morning. The timing was good because The Targo is off of work today. It was just another morning of amazement. We got to see the baby wiggle around, suck its thumb, and fight back when the ultrasound tech was pushing on my abdomen. Lots of fun stuff. And we learned that despite my distorted view of my body and the measurements taken at my last office visit, the baby is just fine and perfectly normal. He or she is just kicking back and all stretched out in my freakishly long torso.

Belly Watch #9

PHEW! It's been a busy weekend! Busy, but fun. It began with picking Amy up from the airport on Friday night. She's so incredibly awesome. We stayed up way too late gossipping like teenage girls. The Targo just looked at us and shook his head. Whatever, he's just as goofy as we are.

My friend, Colleen, hosted a baby shower for us on Saturday. And what an amazing hostess she was! She catered the party with quiche, mimosas, salads, and mini-cheesecakes. I had SO MUCH SUGAR! Our friends were ridiculously generous and I'm so grateful. Unfortunately, we have no place to put our loot as of right now. Our second bedroom is still The Targo's office, but is currently being overrun with all things baby.

Adorable photo album Colleen made for us. It's currently filled with great parenting advice like "Don't eat yellow snow" and "Kids hate casserole."

LOOT! (And also, SLOBS!)

Amy, The Targo and I just palled around the rest of the day. We went to one of our old haunts for dinner and chilled at a bookstore for a while. Unfortunately, my stamina has completely plummetted and I was ready to call it a night around 8:30-9:00. Everyone humored me because they're sweet. Or, they feared my wrath.

On Sunday, The Targo and I had a baby class that was absolutely amazing. Our anatomically correct baby doll was a girl. I'm sure that's no indicator of things to come, despite the opinions of the wizened old ladies I know. Like my heartburn, lack of morning sickness, or the way I'm carrying.

Anyhoo. This week's micro-insult: We decided to have lunch at a cute neighborhood sandwich place. We drove, which was mistake number one. We found a parking place almost immediately and were waiting for the current occupant to pull out when some dude and his dad drove around us and pulled into the space. I rolled the window down and said, "Dude!! We've been waiting for that spot. We had our blinker on and you drove around us to pull into it!" He looked at us like we were chewing gum on his shoe and said "That's not how you parallel park" (My head exploded!) The Targo, my wonderful, mild-mannered husband, actually swore at the guy. We were going to make another lap and find a new parking space, but the dude and his father went into the place we were headed. I told The Targo that I was likely to get into a hormone-induced fight and that we should try something else. He wisely heeded his insane wife's warning. HATE! I'm much better now.

Also, it's week 34. I don't know what to say about it except it's been a hard one. I want to live in pajamas, not because I'm uncomfortable, but because when I accidentally catch glimpses in the mirror, I nearly freak. Is that me? Gasp!

I don't know if it was what I had on, but The Targo and I had a really tough time with this picture. So, yeah, the belly is HUGE! And it hurts.

Yes, it is. I recognize the booty. Hmm. Well, here's an okay shot of the mom- and dad-to-be. We're dorks.

Red-eye, so so so pretty. And chubby cheeks. Blah. The Targo looks cute though.