Pet Peeve Thursday #1

So, I had a happy-go-lucky, sunshine and rainbows post (in my head) ready to go. But then, I went to work. Now, this isn't inherently bad as my job is super fun and sometimes, on occasion, I get to use a portion of my brain - that part that hasn't been killed by sleep deprivation. But today, so much stuff is getting on my left nerve, I can't even tell you. Sometimes you just have to rant.

• Reliving Dan Uggla's THREE errors in the All Star Game. Why-oh-why does the National League insist on giving the game away every year? C'mon, I even rooted for Cub players.
• The copy machine insists on eating everything I give to it. Maybe it's really hungry, or related to me?
• Magic's absolute need to chase Mystic around at both 2:00 am and 10:00. These times are "Shhhh!! Baby is actually sleeping!" times.
• Meetings that could be over in 30 minutes that take two hours. Yeah, [this afternoon's meeting], I'm talking about you!
• Summer weather when the words "Heat Index" are thrown around.
• Reading articles, particularly those showcased on MSN, that have comments sections. Despite the ignorance of many of the comments, I can't stop reading them.

If you feel the need to rant, please feel free to join me.

Spring!

Spring finally hit Chicago. I was excited to wake up to sunshine, temperatures above 40, and the glacier that is our alley finally melted. Another great thing? My friend, Colleen, and I took our babies out for the day. Colleen's little girl is almost exactly 9 months older than Nathan ... and adorable. We had lunch at a neighborhood sammich place and then walked by all of the super cute baby boutiques. Spring! How I love thee ... especially after being cooped up all of February and much of March with a newborn.

And then today ... I woke up to this:



Did I mention that I'm TOTALLY SICK OF WINTER? Yeah, I thought I had.

Cookie of Doom

I've always been a touch on the clumsy side: I've broken several bones, bit through my tongue, and knocked myself out at least three times. But I think last night might be among my crowning glories of clumsiness.



The Targo bought me these super-wonderfully-sinful Pepperidge Farm cookies: Chocolate chunk with caramel.


These cookies are even better if they're just a slight bit warm, you know, and gooey. Well, I was nuking one last night while I poured a glass of milk. We inherited our microwave from The Targo's deceased grandma ... and it's totally Polish. I'm not just making fun, I really think it is. The stupid thing has a dial instead of a digital control, and the dial will not work unless it's set for at least 2 minutes.



So, I was pouring my milk, counting my seconds, and got distracted. Twenty seconds or so went by. I took the cookie out of the microwave and it was a limp, melted mess. A caramel chunk jumped out of the cookie and landed on my thumb. Of course the first thing I did was stick my thumb in my mouth. And then, I threw the cookie in my glass of milk, where it sizzled for a good 3-5 seconds.


Today, the roof of my mouth is completely burned and sore and my thumb, well, there's a huge blister from the evil caramel chunk. Again with the smooth.

NaBloPoMo LoSer

Um... oops. Do I lose or something for not posting on one day?


moar funny pictures

So NOT Cool

I've mentioned our neighbors before. They seem like the nicest people and for some reason, I cannot help but make an ass of myself at every meeting. Tonight, The Targo and I ran into them as we were heading to the grocery store.

Me: [Neighbor guy], do you hear our cats when they run all batsh!t through the house?

[Neighbor guy]: Yes. We hear everything that goes on upstairs.

Me: Oh.
I'm pretty sure I had a panicked "deer caught in headlights" look. I don't even want to know what he hears ... or thinks he hears.

[Neighbor guy]: We were wondering how much you hear us.

Me (because I just can't SHUT UP ALREADY): Oh! We never hear you. You guys are so quiet. But you must be a guitar player. I love hearing that.

[Neighbor guy] (awkward pause): Well, I guess we'll see how it goes after the baby arrives.

Me: Um... yeah. If we're ever really loud, please let us know. We wouldn't intentionally stomp around in loud shoes or anything. Um...

The conversation continued to go downhill and I think The Targo was trying to pull me away. I was obviously unable to ambulate with both feet in my mouth. I don't understand. I have never had consistently awkward conversations like this before. The Targo claims that I seem to get awkward around them. I can't tell if I'm the problem or if I panic because it's not going well, and thereby, become stupid.

Road Rage

The Scene: A busy thoroughfare in the city of Chicago at 6:00 in the morning. Our heroine was driving a small Honda Civic 5 mph above speed limit in the right lane, trying to avoid being run over by the people driving 20 mph above the speed limit. It should be told that our heroine is a reformed speeder who needs to never-ever-ever get another ticket.

*HONK HONK HONK HONK*

Our heroine freaked out and glanced in her rear view and passenger side mirrors, only to see a red pickup truck driving aggressively in the parking lane (the parking lane!). The driver of the red truck swerved in and out the right lane. Our heroine swerved to the left to avoid getting hit. Meanwhile the crazy man in the red truck cut in front of her.

Heroine: What that ...?

Crazy guy in truck: F--- you, lady! F--- you! *obscene finger gesture*

Our heroine changed lanes and slowed down, because dude, that guy be nuts!

Just moments later, a silver SUV pulled in front of our heroine, sans turn signal, naturally. The SUV sped up to meet the red truck. The crazy guy in the red truck leaned out of the window and started screaming at the woman in the SUV. And then he spit at her car.

I have no idea what happened ... but seriously, y'all.

The Halftime Report

Or, BellyWatch #3. Twenty weeks, Internets. Halfway home! The ultrasound is on Friday, so The Targo and I will finally be able to see Peanut.


This photo couldn't be much more embarrassing. Well, maybe if you could see the chocolate milk I spilled on myself just moments before. I have to say that, Yes, I'm overweight, but the gut? That's allll Peanut. The booty? That's all mine!

We just got home from our fabulous trip to St. Louis. (We had an awesome time and I love that city so much. I have a couple pictures and I'll tell you about it later.) The first thing I did, besides feed the Grand Canyon sized pit in my stomach, was make a complete jerk of myself. We have new neighbors, who seem so super nice. They introduced themselves to The Targo and me like we could be great friends. And here's what happened:

Neighbors: We're so nice. You're going to love having us downstairs. We rock. [possibly slightly paraphrased.]

Me, before I even said hello: I have to warn you that we're having a baby in January. I just feel the need to disclose that because it might be noisy. [definitely paraphrased to appear less ass-ish.]

Neighbors: Oh. *crestfallen* Well, we won't be partying it up or anything. We're really responsible, nice people. [only a wee bit paraphrased to appear less hurt and offended]

Me: *stupid dumb stare*

The neighbors tried to politely change the subject.

Me: Omigod. What I meant is that it might be loud upstairs with a newborn. I just wanted to warn you. I wasn't worried about us.

Although I desperately tried to hide under our about-to-collapse porch, nothing seemed to end this awkward interaction. When The Targo managed to excuse us, I started freaking out. What's wrong with me, people? I just wanted to say "Hi! It's so nice to meet you" and I ended up sounding like an old lady warning the young whippersnappers about making noise. Someone put me out of my misery? Please?

On Hiatus: The Bullet Point Version

• Work has been a bear. Not a cute fuzzy one either.
• The Targo and I are trying to find a place to live. Homelessness holds no intrigue for me.
• Baseball season is so disappointing me.
• I'll be travelling to DC on Friday to visit Amy (my BFF). She's awesome. I'll be celebrating a birthday (a birthday with a 3 and a 2 in the wrong order) there.
• I have no Mystic picture for today. I was going to post one where she was sitting in the papasan with the TiVo remote, but I forgot to write this post at home. Maybe I'll do that later.
• Drama abounds... and I likes it not.
• Chicago this weekend: The biggest event is the Gay Pride Parade. Lincoln Park is also having a music festival (I haven't heard of any of the acts, but it's $5!). There's also the Switchyard Festival: music, food, and cocktails. This is a new one to me, but it sounds fun. And also, the benefits go to one of the local YMCAs. As always, go here for more information.

Take care, kids. We'll chat more next week.

Inconveniences: A Whiny Rant

It was about 75, sunny and just plain beautiful in Chicago today. I hope it was nice and lovely wherever you all are too. Our day started with brunch at our favorite diner. Then we took a long walk. Then we watched a lot of baseball (Go Cardinals!). Then we took another long walk. Then we had dinner at our favorite healthy eats spot. Then we went home.

Oh no.

The hallway was completely dark. The molehole, with its windows overlooking the garage, was pitch black. Oh-my-God! The Tivo! Will someone please think of the TiVo?

The power was out. It was Sunday. Was it going to come back on? Maybe I could claim a blackout day at work tomorrow?

Our building manager at first told us it would be back on in another half hour. Well, an hour later, that time changed to midnight. Did I mention the TiVo? The Simpsons are on Sunday night! My grumpiness was building, and man, did my feet hurt. We went to a bar... on the corner, just across the street. I sipped my diet RC (no kidding.) and The Targo had some beer I'd never heard of and we said like three words to each other. The Targo was coming up with all sorts of good ways to waste time and all I could think about were my pajamas and the food that was probably going bad in our not-so-effective fridge.

Finally, at 9:45, I looked across the street and down the block and saw the lights on the front of our building. Lights! Beautiful, wonderful, illuminating lights! We could go home! I could take off my shoes! And pajamas! I could wear pajamas!

Now, after resetting all of the clocks, organizing the laundry that we couldn't do, straightening up the apartment (erm, kinda), I can put on my damned pajamas. How could a beautiful sunny day turn into a pain in the arse blackout? I don't get it. It's days like this that I realize I'm just as much of a creature of habit as The Targo. It's only readily apparent when my schedule is way screwed up. Like when modern conveniences flip you the bird and ruin $100 worth of groceries.

And also... Mystic has sat on my laptop so many times that the "D" key only works if you push it hard enough to make it scream for help. Loverly.

Inspired to Utter Many Four-Letter Words

I'm having some issues accessing my blog - or any Blogger blogs - from home. My blogging, which I use purely as an avoidance tactic for my dissertation, is being hindered, God Bless It! So frustrated. As such, my blogging (and reading all of your wonderful blogs *cry*) will be limited for the next however-the-heck-long it will take to get this straightened out.

And also? Tomorrow is The Targo's 30th birthday. HAhAHAHAHAAHhaHA! When were at his family's Easter, everyone asked me if I was turning 30 in a year or 3. Hahaha! The only reason I like my chubby cheeks... they make me look younger than The Targo. Why do I care? I don't know. Maybe because I'm jealous of his long skinny legs.

Tomorrow, I think we're going to Grotto on State. We're Midwesterners. We likes our moo cow. Well, I love steak. The Targo always orders chicken and then mooches off of me. But, I'll let you all know how it goes. I heart food.

On a completely unrelated note: It's April 11th and it's snowing in Chicago. I don't mean flurries, where it looks like we're a cute little hamlet residing in a snow globe. No, I mean it's those big ole honkin' fat flakes that require you to wear protective eye gear.

Lastly, just because one blog entry cannot have the word "blog" in it too many times: BLOGGGG!

LIVE: On Pay-Per-View

Blogger versus My ISP! One night only! Winner takes allllllllllllllllll...

So like, I've been trying to access my blog - actually, any Blogger blog - since Friday and have been unable to log in. So, I hope you all had a Happy Easter, Passover, or Good Weekend... Whichever applies.

Talk atcha later!