Things That Are Preventing Me From Blogging

1. Me --- I am so lazy. I sit on a computer all day and find it nearly impossible to get on in the evening. Aside from the occasional sports-related update on Facebook.
2. My Cats --- Seriously. They're pushing me over the edge. It's been almost exactly 3 years since we got Magic, and I kid you not, he and Mystic fought EVERY DAY of those three years. And also, with our much larger place, they keep finding nooks and crannies to get stuck in. Last night, they each got stuck in this attic storage space. At separate points in the evening. Once they were rescued, they both tried to get back in.
3. My husband --- he's fabulous.
4. TV --- I've recently got hooked on Phineas and Ferb on the Disney Channel. It cracks me up... And yes, I'm over 30.
5. My child --- he's too fun. Those precious two hours after work are spent enjoying him.

That's really all I've got. How are you doin'?

Am.A.Freak.

Why am I an idiot? So, I lost my wallet on my birthday. That sucked. And I also discovered how easy (frighteningly easy) it is to get a replacement driver's license in Illinois. Very very scary.

The other night, in the midst of all of our packing insanity, I lost my purse. OMIGOSH! Where could it be??? I losted it!!

After about a half hour of frantic searching and calling myself every synonym of idiot I could think of, I had the bright idea to have The Targo call my cell phone. You know, when two people in the house are PhD candidates, you'd think we'd have a heck of a lot more common sense than this.

(aside) I need to interrupt this train of thought by telling you that Nathan loses my
keys EVERY DAY! He takes them when we walk in the door, and then? Well, they end up a myriad of places. I have found them all but once. I actually LOST that set of keys. Now that Nathan knows the word "key" (which he says like a Yiddish word --- as if it's spelled chhhee... like, challah), he always finds them for me. (/aside)

So, The Targo called my phone and of course, my purse was right in front of us. UNDER THREE BOXES! Jeez. I can't wait to move.

Out of My Element

You know those people who are good at everything they try? The ones that are never out of place in any situation? Those people? Yeah, well, I'm not one of them. I'm actually one of those people who can't really do anything. (Except play a mean game of Trivial Pursuit, but who cares?)

While growing up, my brothers and I had very few responsibilities. My parents worked opposite shifts, so they managed to take care of everything. All we had to do was keep our rooms clean and empty and fill the dishwasher. We didn't get crazy allowances like some lazy I mean spoiled other kids, so I guess that made up for it. But now, as a wife and a mom, I have NO CLUE what I'm doing.

I don't know how to cook. I don't know how to iron. I don't know how to do basic maintenance things around the house. I don't know how to hang a picture. Seriously, I'm pretty sure The Targo had no clue what a lemon he was getting.

I've spent the last two years trying really hard to become a better cook - you know, one who doesn't rely on the George Foreman Grill so much. And I've been making all of Nathan's baby food. He likes it; doesn't that mean it's tasty? Yeah, I didn't think so. Anyway, all of this pureeing has really encouraged me. Over the past few weeks, I've made a bunch of things, from scratch: Vegetable beef soup, biscuits, chicken and pasta caserole. It's been fun. And The Targo has eaten everything without showing any signs of disgust or food poisoning. Now if I could just figure out how to hand a picture, our place would look lived in.

So, question for all of you ladies out there: Did you learn how "domestic" things when you were living at home with your parents? I don't just mean cooking, but all of the things owning a home/being out on your own necessitates? If not, how did you learn to do the things you do?

*EDIT* Incidentally, I can do laundry (but The Targo does it) and vacuum (we have hardwood floors). But that's pretty much it.

Miscellany

Every time I say I'm not going to cut my hair, eight inches mysteriously disappear. But man, did I need it! Not as badly as I need to shed about twenty pounds, but still.

I love taking pictures and having them to look at when I miss my friends and family. And then, I see the person the mirror doesn't always show me: GIGANTOR MARIANNE. She is very large, and her face is most shiny. It could be the lack of makeup or the stinky steamy Missouri summer.

So, I bought this book, which I probably should have bought seven months or so ago:

There are several used copies on Amazon, starting at 29 cents. I brought it to read at work, because I'm obviously eating poorly. It's not just that I want to lose weight - because I so do - but also, I need more energy. Did I mention there's a crawler in my house?

Also, a couple days ago, I tried (for the second time) to put my wedding band back on. It still doesn't fit. It's not just that it doesn't fit, but it digs into my finger, looking for bone. Bah.

If any of you have read this book and have any opinions about it, please drop me an email.

TMI - But It's for a Good Cause

I used to be a music junkie. I blame my mom. She was young, hip, and had an awesome vinyl collection. She loved everything from Gospel, to Blues, to Rock, to ... I don't know, a pretty broad spectrum, okay? Naturally, as soon as I got my first CD player, I had to join a CD club. I remember getting Simon and Garfunkel's Greatest Hits and some Bon Jovi CD. Yeah, I'm old ... but not Simon and Garfunkel old.

I used to buy CDs regularly. I was lucky enough to find a used CD place close to my digs when I first moved to Chicago. Also, I had a good friend who was a DJ in his other life. He burned lots of tunes for me.

Then came The Targo. My husband, I adore him, is very very frugal. He thinks buying CDs is a total waste of money. I've made several lists of tunes for him to download for me, then our iPod got virused or something. So, I'm sans mp3/digital music. *woe*

Now that I'm back at work, I'm spending more time than I imagined a lot of time pumping. I need something to occupy myself and thought about getting the iPod up and running again. The problem is that I haven't listened to the radio (besides talk radio, sports, news) in a long time. I feel that I am all sorts of un-hip.

Helps me! Pleeeeeeeeeease! Give me some recommendations: What's hip where you live? Any local sounds? What's playing on your iPod? I really listen to just about everything. (Okay, I'm not so into songs where the swear words outnumber the drumbeats ... but other than that, about anything.)

Worth

The more I read Dana's blog, the more I totally love her --- you know what I mean. Her blog was the first I started to read daily. It's been so cool to watch her adorable children grow and, being that I LOVE St. Louis, I love her stories about life in the 'Lou. But really, she's a gifted writer and she defends her viewpoints in ways that I can only do with six subsequent pages of citations.

The post she wrote for today is about a NY Times piece covering BlogHer, which was found in the Style section. Nice, right? I've read several responses to the Times piece, and Dana's seems to be the most global - attempting to read the piece from the eyes of the critics, as well as those who think all women who write "mommyblogs" are incredibly boring, brainless chits.

So, this got me thinking: I'm totally one of those "bloggers" (I like to think of myself as someone who happens to have a blog) who gives the "mommybloggers" a bad name. I post way too many pictures of my husband and my baby. Before Nathan came around, I posted way (WAY) too many pictures of my cats (and gave crazy cat ladies a bad name). But you know what? I don't blog for them. As of late, I barely blog at all. Regardless, I started blogging to keep friends - and the few family members I don't bad mouth - up to date with my wedding plans, then my pregnancy, and now my family. I think that's a perfectly valid reason to post fluff, pictures, and snippets. I'm totally fine with this. I know my writings - my real writings - are the items I produce at work and articles and chapters I write for my dissertation. Neither are obligated reading for anyone. (I guess my Committee will be ... but that would require me to get back on the D-train, right?)

I feel so grateful that blogging has introduced me to some wonderful people, especially those I've met in person. I enjoy the little windows into their lives and giving virtual hugs to celebrate or commiserate.

So bloggers - not writers who have blogs, I appreciate you more than you know - but those of you who have blogs and post silly little things like I do: It's OK. With all of the sad news, the bad news, the mean people, the serious writings in the world, it's so nice to read a sweet little story about a baby and share a giggle. Embrace it. F[orget] the naysayers; they don't mean a thing.

Slow Motion

Whew! Life needs to slow down, just a bit. I've been ridiculously swamped this month. Between work, dog-sitting, daycare hunting, appointment-setting, visiting family, and just life in general --- wahhhhhh ... it's been hectic. I guess that's summer, though. And I'm sure it's going to get even more hectic as he grows.

All that aside, I finally attached pictures to Nathan's Five Month "letter..." I was so tired, I didn't have too much to say. But it really has been an eventful month. Eventful if you consider the goofy baby sleeping 6-8 hours a day eventful. He spends as much time as possible fighting sleep. It's a sport. We're practicing for the 2016 Olympics.

I think Nathan is officially crawling, even if it is backwards. He likes to hang out on his tummy and complain loudly. Then he'll see a toy, just out of reach, and go for it ... only to go backward. Poor thing. I keep cheering him on and he looks at me as if I should do the crawling for him, by God.

I've missed reading your blogs and I hope you're all well. My mom is visiting us this week and I'm hoping to catch up with you guys.

Thirty *cough-cough-cough* Three

Happy birthday to me ...
Happy birthday to me ...
Happy birthday dear meeeeeee (and the way cuter and much younger Janet) ...
Happy birthday to me.


MAN, have I aged this year. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I think "wow, you look really old today." Other times, I feel like I'm a young lookin' thirty-something. But mostly, I cannot believe how quickly life moves. Has it really been THAT LONG (15 years, Holy God) since I graduated from high school? Omigosh.

I think no year in my life has flown by more quickly than this past year.

We had just found out I was pregnant. Look at that skinny face ... with NO DARK CIRCLES.




Four months pregnant and hanging with Nogy - one of the coolest California girls, ever.



Babymooning with my first love in Italy. Gettin' chubbier.



The day I met the other love of my life.



Nathan was one week old in this photo. And I was one week without sleep. I don't think I could focus on where the camera was.



Nathan was three weeks old, I'm a pretty sure I was delirious. Look at that glassy-eyed smile! And also, the dark circles were beginning to take over my face. (Baby boy --- look at all of your hair!) Sweat pants. Gah.



Two weeks ago ... all of the sleepless nights and bad skin are totally worth it.

So, I may be a year older, but I can safely say this has been the best year of my life. Watch this video and tell me if you agree. It's about the funniest word in the world.

Cookie of Doom

I've always been a touch on the clumsy side: I've broken several bones, bit through my tongue, and knocked myself out at least three times. But I think last night might be among my crowning glories of clumsiness.



The Targo bought me these super-wonderfully-sinful Pepperidge Farm cookies: Chocolate chunk with caramel.


These cookies are even better if they're just a slight bit warm, you know, and gooey. Well, I was nuking one last night while I poured a glass of milk. We inherited our microwave from The Targo's deceased grandma ... and it's totally Polish. I'm not just making fun, I really think it is. The stupid thing has a dial instead of a digital control, and the dial will not work unless it's set for at least 2 minutes.



So, I was pouring my milk, counting my seconds, and got distracted. Twenty seconds or so went by. I took the cookie out of the microwave and it was a limp, melted mess. A caramel chunk jumped out of the cookie and landed on my thumb. Of course the first thing I did was stick my thumb in my mouth. And then, I threw the cookie in my glass of milk, where it sizzled for a good 3-5 seconds.


Today, the roof of my mouth is completely burned and sore and my thumb, well, there's a huge blister from the evil caramel chunk. Again with the smooth.

So NOT Cool

I've mentioned our neighbors before. They seem like the nicest people and for some reason, I cannot help but make an ass of myself at every meeting. Tonight, The Targo and I ran into them as we were heading to the grocery store.

Me: [Neighbor guy], do you hear our cats when they run all batsh!t through the house?

[Neighbor guy]: Yes. We hear everything that goes on upstairs.

Me: Oh.
I'm pretty sure I had a panicked "deer caught in headlights" look. I don't even want to know what he hears ... or thinks he hears.

[Neighbor guy]: We were wondering how much you hear us.

Me (because I just can't SHUT UP ALREADY): Oh! We never hear you. You guys are so quiet. But you must be a guitar player. I love hearing that.

[Neighbor guy] (awkward pause): Well, I guess we'll see how it goes after the baby arrives.

Me: Um... yeah. If we're ever really loud, please let us know. We wouldn't intentionally stomp around in loud shoes or anything. Um...

The conversation continued to go downhill and I think The Targo was trying to pull me away. I was obviously unable to ambulate with both feet in my mouth. I don't understand. I have never had consistently awkward conversations like this before. The Targo claims that I seem to get awkward around them. I can't tell if I'm the problem or if I panic because it's not going well, and thereby, become stupid.

The Halftime Report

Or, BellyWatch #3. Twenty weeks, Internets. Halfway home! The ultrasound is on Friday, so The Targo and I will finally be able to see Peanut.


This photo couldn't be much more embarrassing. Well, maybe if you could see the chocolate milk I spilled on myself just moments before. I have to say that, Yes, I'm overweight, but the gut? That's allll Peanut. The booty? That's all mine!

We just got home from our fabulous trip to St. Louis. (We had an awesome time and I love that city so much. I have a couple pictures and I'll tell you about it later.) The first thing I did, besides feed the Grand Canyon sized pit in my stomach, was make a complete jerk of myself. We have new neighbors, who seem so super nice. They introduced themselves to The Targo and me like we could be great friends. And here's what happened:

Neighbors: We're so nice. You're going to love having us downstairs. We rock. [possibly slightly paraphrased.]

Me, before I even said hello: I have to warn you that we're having a baby in January. I just feel the need to disclose that because it might be noisy. [definitely paraphrased to appear less ass-ish.]

Neighbors: Oh. *crestfallen* Well, we won't be partying it up or anything. We're really responsible, nice people. [only a wee bit paraphrased to appear less hurt and offended]

Me: *stupid dumb stare*

The neighbors tried to politely change the subject.

Me: Omigod. What I meant is that it might be loud upstairs with a newborn. I just wanted to warn you. I wasn't worried about us.

Although I desperately tried to hide under our about-to-collapse porch, nothing seemed to end this awkward interaction. When The Targo managed to excuse us, I started freaking out. What's wrong with me, people? I just wanted to say "Hi! It's so nice to meet you" and I ended up sounding like an old lady warning the young whippersnappers about making noise. Someone put me out of my misery? Please?

Inexcusable?

When I walked into Dunkin' Donuts, amongst the other yuppies, I noticed people looking at me strangely. When I walked into the office, it occurred to me why.

You see, maternity pants are a little too big. Excuses, excuses - blah blah. So, I've been wearing one or two pairs of my "fat pants" to mix it up. But really, does that excuse me from the fashion faux pas that I'm committing today?

Despite my khaki pants and red t-shirt, if anyone asks me for a cart, they're getting smacked. Because is it ever okay to dress like you work at Target? Ever?

*EDIT 2:30 pm* I should also mention that I had to unexpectedly attend a funeral this morning... In Target wear. Awesome.

Not Smart

I want to apologize for being a bit of a drama queen lately. It hit me last night when I a) drove downtown to pick The Targo up from work and nearly committed cabbie-cide, and b) I bit The Targo's head off when he reminded me to write him a rent check. I was evil, I tell you. But the dude woke me up to remind me. So, I'm going to blame my subconscious.

I'm so sorry, Targo. But Cabbie? NOT SORRY AT ALL. You almost ran me into the viaduct, so my obscene finger gesture was totally appropriate.

Anyhoo... My crabby pants and I are very sorry, Internets.

With that said, I feel like I should perform a public service and inform you of all of the stupid things I have done in the past twelve months that you should NEVER EVER cumulatively do in twelve months. It may make you a crazy as I am. And your "Targo" - he will no longer have a head.

1. Get a new job
2. Get new noisy pet
3. Get married
4. Spouse gets new job
5. Get pregnant
6. *edit* Denied Harry Potter
7. Move

Above Stuff + Family Drama = CRAZY!

More Random Stuff

I got tagged by these two crazies. Is that tag-teamed tagging?

The rules:
-Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
-People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
-At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
-Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1. Did you know that figuring out random things about yourself gets harder and harder? Okay, seriously... When I was 15, my best friend moved in with my family. Her mom treated her really poorly and my parents petitioned the court for custody of her. She lived with us until we went to college. Unfortunately, I don't see or talk to her too much anymore. I am convicted though that someday The Targo and I will have foster children.
2. Last night, I dropped one of our brand new plates on my pinkie toe. The plate shattered and my toe is purple. If it's broken, this is like, the twentieth time I've broken a bone.
3. I live for the snooze button. My alarm goes off the first time at 5:20. Then New Cat gets in my face and licks me. Then my snooze goes off again. Then New Cat comes and has a one-sided conversation with me. Then my snooze goes off again. Then New Cat decides to chase Mystic. I throw one of my pillows at him and have to finally get up. Snooze rocks.
4. I used to live on the near west side of Chicago. For those of you who haven't been here, it's where the real Cook County Hospital (not the one on ER) and the United Center (the Bulls' stadium) are. At least once a week, some random dude would stop me on the street and offer me a ride. I'm not sure if this says something bad about me and the way I dress, or what. Regardless, it's creepy. When I lived in a different north side neighborhood, I was repeatedly asked for directions to the methadone clinic. I still wonder why they thought I would know.
5. My favorite books are either chick-lit or thrillers. Is it strange to constantly read things about people falling in love or getting hacked up? I think it's weird. Maybe I'm growing up because my horror threshold is decreasing.
6. I used to read a lot of political blogs, from both ends of the spectrum. I didn't have any favorites because they all made me mad. Now, I prefer reading what you lovely wummins have to say. It's much more fun and better for my blood pressure.
7. I cry at the drop of the hat. Not like "cry baby" crying, but I'm easily moved. Every time I've seen a preview for "Akeelah and the Bee"... oh jeez. Well, it's just not pretty. (Did anyone see that movie? Sadly, I haven't ... I just can't get past the previews.)
8. I saw the Dave Matthews Band in concert a couple times. The last show I saw, I think I was 26 or 27. I didn't think I was "too old" until I realized the beer line was only four people deep. I think the last concert I went to was the Rolling Stones. I definitely was not the oldest person at that one.

Ok... here's the deal... I don't know 8 people to tag. So, consider yourself tagged, interweb. Oh and... go read Sarah and Nicole's responses. They're funny.

My Chicago

(photo from www.surprisecharters.com)

I'm sorry. I'm a follower. But I thought this was so cool. Let me tell you about My Town.

My Chicago

Age: 31

Occupation: Perhaps I'm The Cheerleader. Mebbe I could save the world. Hmm. Nah... just an ordinary desk jockey civil servant.

I lived there for: Nearly 8 years

I lived there because: I thought getting a PhD would be a good idea. Little did I know it would eat my soul.

My neighborhood: Lakeview!

My favorite restaurant: Okay, there are really so many options, I might have to mention one for each meal. Breakfast/brunch: Orange. It's a Lakeview hub for fancy-schmancy pancakes and super long lines. The service isn't so great, but the food. Oh-ma-gah. They have a different flight of pancakes every week. If they have it, I highly recommend the coffee flight. Good stuff. Lunch: Either Potbelly or Portillo's. I don't know how "local" either place is, but I'd never had them before I moved to Chicago. Potbelly has sandwiches that they toast. The bread is just good. But really - you've got to go for an Oreo Shake. If you have never been to Potbelly, they SCREAM the order down the line. "Sir, I'd like a chocolate shake." "Chocolate shake!" "CHOCOLATE SHAKE!" It's a little annoying, but tasty. Portillo's is known for their naughty greasy food, but they also have good pastas, grilled chicken and tasty salads. Dinner: This is so difficult, man. But, I'll stay in the Lakeview area and recommend Twist. It's a tapas place that is more fusion than anything. The stuffed mushrooms and the bacon-wrapped dates are incredible. Trust me.

If you go to this restaurant, be sure to order: see above... too much detail, I know.

My favorite museum: Museum of Science and Industry. I love that you can touch things and no one shushes you. The best thing is that MSI has a REAL Omnimax. No, not an IMAX... The Omnimax is a dome and it's how all uber-cool movies should be watched. Great story: The Targo and I try to go to a museum every three-four months. This particular tour of the MSI, we saw a film in the Omnimax where they traced the Nile to its source. The lights went down and we started "flying" over the Middle East. Suddenly there was a heaviness on my shoulder and snoring in my ear. "Targo! Wake up!" It was awesome.

My favorite tourist destination: You may have heard of The Green Mill. It's a jazz joint from the Prohibition Era. Rumor has it Al Capone's henchman owned a share of this place. After 10:00, ladies get in for free. Just a warning: The Green Mill is in a really lousy neighborhood.

Best insider spot: Matisse. This place has the best Sangria I've ever had! They have fabulous outdoor seating and it's in a great location. Also, if you're interested, it's right next to a place that specializes in clams on the half shell. Not my scene, but I thought I'd pass that along.

My favorite area: I love the parks. I've never been to New York or Boston, but in comparison to the other large cities I've been to, Chicago takes real pride in the accessibility of its green spaces. The lakefront is entirely public. It's cool to see people, who may have come from landlocked Midwestern or western states, when they look at Lake Michigan. It looks like an ocean. I can only imagine what Superior must seem like.

Best place to go shopping: I'm not much of a shopper, but of course, the Magnificent Mile would be the place to go. There's always something beautiful on the street. Right now it's the tulips. But there's often a series of art. And, in the winter, there are the lights. So nice.

When you visit, don’t forget to pack: Walking shoes and a jacket! It may be 80 during the day, but it's likely to cool down very quickly.

The one local cuisine you should try when you’re in town is: Of course I'm going to say pizza, because that's what everyone says. The best Chicago pizzas either come from Lou Malnati's or Gino's East. The others are wannabes... and Pizzeria Uno? No. Not Chicago pizza.

The best way to get around: It depends on where you are. Lakeview, Lincoln Park and Wrigleyville are totally walking neighborhoods. But, Chicago has awesome public transportation - whether it's bus or train.

If I had to describe this city in one word, it would be: Yummy? No? How about International? There are several ethnic neighborhoods that you have to visit: Chinatown and its amazing Dim Sum, Greektown has incredible restaurants, Little Italy has an Italian-American Sports Hall of Fame, and Bronzeville is reviving its history as a center of African-American music, culture and art (and now they got rid of their awful alderwoman... I'm sure it will get even better).

I tell my friends to stay at: I invite people to the mole hole, but there are so few takers. Maybe it's the cats and not me? If you want luxury, stay at a downtown hotel. If not? Be on the look out for specials. There's always a deal to be had in the Windy City.

The one thing most outsiders don’t know about this city is: The live theater scene is incredible. You can find major productions of Broadway shows, as wells as independent theatre companies that only do original works. What's your taste? Whether it's comedy (Second City or ImprovOlympics) or serious theater (Steppenwolf or Victory Gardens) or something quirky (Blue Man Group ~ which I would never-ever-ever see), you'll find it!

They say “Virginia is for lovers.” So fill in the blank: Chicago is for people who love to work, play, eat, and enjoy life. The Lake offers natural beauty. The skyline is filled with some of the most amazing architecture. The food? Really... I don't need to say more. There's always something going on: sports, art, theater, music... you name it! Chicago's got it. As much as I fantasize about building a mountain home, I love it here.

7 More Things about Meeeeee

I got this from the Loverly Sarah!

For some reason (cause she's a doll) she wanted to know 7 Things About Me:

1. I am morbidly afraid of clowns. It has been this way since I was a child. Before I saw Poltergeist. Really. And long before I saw the movie IT. See... that movie didn't scare me so much because Pennywise was openly evil. And, I had already read the book.
2. My favorite thing about my current job is that the title sounds so cool. Also, there's a TV show that's similar to what I do. My old job title was "Project Manager/Analyst." I still don't know what that means. And, there was no TV show even close to demonstrating my job. (Cryptic enough?)
3. The Targo is afraid to have girl child(ren). He's convinced that he won't know what to do and that they'll inherit my lack of fashion/make-up/hair sense. I think I'm just fine, but there are days that I forget to brush my hair. And, I think sneakers are appropriate with almost every outfit. Okay, maybe I've got nothing to offer and I should be afraid too. Boys? Well, the Targo and I are both sports nuts. We have the same 12 year old boy tastes in movies. And we both laugh out loud at South Park. Maybe boys do seem a little easier.
4. My parents married a month after they met. The Targo and I married 6 years after we started dating (7 1/2 years after we met). I always thought it should be somewhere in the middle. I'm happy that it finally worked out. We'll see how the next 60 years go. Although, I am kind of concerned about those milestone birthdays. Turning 40, 50, 60... before the Targo does not sound fun.
5. I have never been camping. In my life. Ever. The closest I've been is band camp. (I see you laughing.) We stayed at a camp ground and had bunks and cold showers. We had to get up at 5:30 in the morning, and were still outside marching at 10:00 at night. I was eaten alive by the mosquitoes and there was no canoeing. I'm beginning to think it wasn't such a good deal. The Targo and I keep talking about camping someday. Maybe in Yosemite or Yellowstone. I'm afraid I'm not really up to "roughing it," but in theory, it sounds so awesome.
6. I mentioned in my 100 Things post, that I don't speak any languages other than American English. I really would like to learn someday. I had planned to study either Polish or Russian when I moved up here, but never got around to it. The Targo took 5+ years of Espanol and yet, when we were in a cab in Cozumel (great cruise destination) and the cab driver spoke no English, the Targo just let us almost get lost. I was all "Doesn't el barco mean boat?" It was interesting. I learned that I didn't want to be a disgusting American again. My restaurant Spanglish totally came in handy when we were in Mexico for our wedding.
7. I thought the best part of having a destination wedding would be the vacation, non-stressed aspect of it. But really, it was having our parents on vacation with us. I know how lame that sounds. I really hope to take our families on vacation again. It was so fun. Our parents acted like newlyweds. And my parents, who had never been out of the country, did things I'm sure they'd never imagined doing: snorkeling, swimming in subterranean rivers... it rocked.

I don't know who to tag... but feel free to post this stuff... I love random bits of info about you all.

Me...me... and me...

This is from cute Liz. Can you tell I'm bored today?

1. How old will you be in 10 months? Oh holy lord... 32 almost 33... Jeez.
2. Do you think you'll be married by then? N/A! Thank God that cute guy showed up!
3. What do you look forward to most in the next 3 months? I'm hopefully traveling to Virginia to see my BFF and meet her baby for the first time. And then to STL to see all of my other BFFs and their children I haven't met. Did I mention how everyone is having babies? It's insane. It makes me wonder if there's something in the water. I drink Brita... so I dunno.
4. Who was the last person you called? The Targo. *rowr* I said "Oh, Lover Boy." And when he didn't answer, I said "C'mere, Lover Boy." And when he still didn't answer, I said "Baby... oh-ohhhh, baby..." What?
5. Who was the last person to call you? My friend Laura
6. Do you prefer to call or text? I would prefer to live in a vacuum lately. I don't know what the #$@ is wrong with me.
7. Do you have any pets? YAY! TWO! TWO PETS! Black and white cats! YAY! Mystic and Magic. Also known as Diva (or Fingers, or Easy-Bake, or Collapso) and New Cat.
8. What were you doing at 12am last night? Watching the end of Baseball Tonight and swearing that the television. Look... I'm sorry that there are other teams besides those on the east coast. I'm sure it's a burden, ESPN, to have to lower your standards and cover Mark Buehrle throwing a no-hitter. But, jeez... it's just part of your job. And also? I want to throw my show at Carl Ravech. As it's a big shoe, it might break his pretty nose. Jerk.
OMG... Where's 9?
10. When is the last time you saw your sister? I don't have one :( I call Amy my sister. And I saw her in February. I saw my brothers ... #1 September 2006, #2 February 2007, and #3 August 2005. <-- How wrong is that? God. I'm a bad sister. He lives in Vegas... that's my only excuse. 11. What happened at 10:00 am? I'm sure I was working. But I have no proof of that.
12. How many states have you lived in? Three: Illinois, Missouri, Tennessee... and I'm back in Illinois.
13. Who was the last person you were mad at? Do I count? That would be me, then.
14. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet? Socks indoors, barefoot outdoors.
15. Are you a social person? Eh... I used to be... Now... meh.
16. What was the last thing you ate? I just had an Oreo-yogurt-smoothie from Potbelly! I'm so full!
17. What is your favorite ice-cream? Hmm... Maybe chocolate fudge brownie yogurt from Ben & Jerry's.
18. What was your last alcoholic drink? I had one Margarita at our wedding reception/party thing.
And 19? I'll make one up: Where's your favorite place to visit? Why thank you for asking. I really like St. Louis. Mostly because I have so many friends there. Before my brother moved, Denver would have been right up there too. Maybe I'll live there some day.
20. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB&J sandwiches? Grape! I LOVE artificial grape. Do you all remember Nesbitt's pop? YEAH!
21. How was your day today? Eh... the shake was good.
22. What are you excited about? Moving, travelling, getting home to see The Targo tonight.
23. What do you drink in the morning? I usually drink water, but I've been succumbing to a Starbucks skim hot chocolate lately. Tsk-tsk.
24. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? I don't sleep well alone anymore. There are usually 8 12 legs in my bed. And sadly, mine are probably the shortest. (EDIT: I apparently can't do math. Two cats and two people equals 12 legs.)
25. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? I sleep on the side by the wall. Targo on the outside. New Cat sleeps next to The Targo. Mystic sleeps by my feet. Too many legs.
26. Do you know how to play poker? I do. But really what's the deal with it being on TV? Even worse, I heard a poker tournament on the radio once. WHAT?
27. Do you like to cuddle? Uh-huh.
28. Have you ever been to Canada? Yep. I was in Toronto for a conference. It's a lot like Chicago except it's cleaner and people are nicer.
29. Do you eat out or at home more often? I love to eat out... but I'd say it's about 50-50.
30. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? Um... no. Not that I can think of.
Egads! No #31. Marianne - What was your favorite cartoon growing up? Well gee, I'd have to say either GI Joe or Jem. Rock.
32. Do you speak any other language? No.
C'mon now. No #33? Marianne - What's your favorite song? Right now, it's a tie between Rehab by Amy Winehouse and Allison Crowe's version of Hallelujah. Historically? I will always be a fan of Crazy, by the DMB.
34. Have you ever been in an ambulance? I don't think so. I see them every day.
35. Did anyone brighten your day? Not today... But I'm not home yet.
36. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat? It doesn't matter. When the Targo and I travel together, I usually let him pick and I'll take what's left over.
37. Do you know how to drive a stick shift? No. Are you asking what I do know how to do, or is it just me?
38. What is your favorite thing to spend money on? Probably friends and eating out.
39. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7? No. I take my engagement and wedding rings off every night.
40. What is your favorite TV show? There are just so many! Law & Order: SVU, Medium, Supernatural (OMG, that's on tonight!), Ghost Whisperer...
41. Can you roll your tongue? Yup. I've got a good tongue story actually. When I was 8, my youngest brother and I were jumping on a bed. The bed was coming away from the wall and he pulled me off. I stumbled and landed flat on my face... and bit through my tongue. There was a hole the size of a quarter in that puppy. I had 8 stitches and talked with a slight lisp for a year or two. Now, I stick my tongue out when I smile...
42. Who is the funniest person you know? Me! No...really. Um... My friend Sloth is pretty damn funny. But he's really politically incorrect and not good for mixed company.
43. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No. Just real ones.
44. What is the main ring tone on your phone? Eh... some lame sound provided by my provider. My old phone used to Polka when Targo called. Heh.
45. Do you still have clothes from when you were little? No. What?
46. What is the color of your bedroom walls? Some standard apartment egg-shell color.
47. Do you shut off the water when you brush your teeth? Yes. I wet the toothbrush first. Shut off the water. Brush. Rinse. Well, if Mystic's in the sink I leave the water on.
48. Do you sleep with your closet doors opened or closed? They're open because they're off the track. That reminds me, I need to call maintenance.
49. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of killing bees? Probably the bear. It would be quicker.
50. Do you flirt a lot? A little too much. I'm trying to quit.

Ok, I will not be held accountable for the off numbering. But that was fun, nonetheless.

Dia del Targo

So, last Thursday was The Targo's 30th birthday. I seriously want to laugh out loud every time I think about that because WOW! Has he been giving me grief about being in my thirties for the past year and some change! ACK! (Exclamation point much?)


While I had grand plans for awesome gifts! Memorable moments! And just plain cool stuff... I totally dropped the ball on his birthday gifts. What did I get him? Well, the more important question is "When did I get them?" The answer would be -- about noon on his birthday.


I got him this book:

The cats got him a funny birthday card and a gift certificate for this place:

(If you haven't, try the low-fat cake batter yogurt! O-MA-GAH! It's heavenly.)

I know! On a scale of 1 to 10, these birthday gifts are lame squared. Usually, I'm pretty good on the fly. But this year? I was so out of ideas.

However, all was not lost. As I said, we went to The Grotto on State. This might be my new favorite Chicago steakhouse. But, to add to the lame-ity... we had a coupon! I admit it! I took my man out on his 30th birthday with thoughtless gifts and a coupon. Did I mention the book was wrapped by the staff at Barnes and Noble? Oh Lord. I should be sent to wife purgatory on the express train.

The Targo? He was happy. He ate much of my ROCKIN' filet Mignon and he loved his gifts. What a gracious birthday boy. I should really take notes.

When we got home from dinner, I was lamenting that I had only gotten him one gift. He was all "What are you talking about? You bought me a book and the gift card ... and dinner."

I blinked at him and said "Oh yeah. For some reason, I was really thinking the Cold Stone card was from the cats."

**********

But, The Targo is 30. It's strange, but because we've been together for so long, I didn't think these milestones would mean so much to me. But they do. I can't believe how much we've grown up over the past six and a half years. He was really "just a kid" when we started dating. I've seen him grow into this confident, successful, wonderful man. And quite frankly, I couldn't be prouder to have him as my husband. He's smart, funny (although it's somewhat situationally...heh), stable, a hard worker, and my best friend. This is what I always hoped love would be like.

So, Targo... Whenever you can read this... Thank you. Thank you for choosing me when I chose you. I hope we share many more milestones together. I know I dropped the ball on this birthday, but I'll try to make it up to you.

101 (Useless) Things

This morning, I posted my 100th entry! Isn't it crazy? I'm the person who has been working on her dissertation for YEARS and yet, I can write 100 posts about nothing - well, sometimes about my cats. I'm not really sure that's better. Hmm.

To be honest, I definitely don't think I'm interesting enough for 100 things, but it's one of my favorite things to read on other blogs. Especially when people are funny. Love that.

And since this is my 101st post, I'm going to list 101 Things:

1. My name is Marianne. I cannot tell you how often people spell it wrong. Or worse, don't know how to pronounce it.
2. Even worse? My last name is very short and is a word that appears in the English language as a noun, verb, and onomatopoeia; yet people still don't understand it when I say it
3. The Targo's has a long Polish last name. But it's phonetic.
   
4. Um, I guess that's my last name now too. Neither the Social Security Office nor the DMV is aware of this fact.
5. By the way, I do have a middle name.
6. I'm the youngest of four kids. The only girl. And the only one between my parents.
7. But I'm not spoiled. I'm well-loved.
8. Everyone in my family has a million nicknames. This freaks The Targo out because sometimes he doesn't know who I'm talking about.
9. I had several nicknames as a kid and my dad still calls me "Mouse."
   
10. I became an aunt the first time when I was six years old. My mom became a grandma at 29. That's not as white trash as it sounds, because she's my oldest brother's step-mom.
11. I have always been a crazy cat lady.
    
12. My first cat (she was actually my youngest brother's cat) died my sophomore year of high school. She was 20. And gross.
13. I went to grad school and got my first ever dog. He was a black lab named Jake and I loved him more than my long-time boyfriend.
    
14. When I moved to Chicago, Jake moved in with my parents and their pool. He was most happy.
15. He died in October 2005 and I cried for two days.
16. I only have one friend from high school that I still talk to. And sadly, we don't talk that much.
    
17. My closest friends are the girls I met in college.
18. And Sloth. I was the best man in his wedding.
19. And Amy. She's my soul-mate. *Shhhhhhhh... Don't tell the Targo! Or Amy's husband.*
20. I always wanted "mall-bangs" in high school, but my hair was too thick and too straight for it to work. And? I hate hair products.
21. I'm a diehard St. Louis Cardinals fan. It's in my genes. I don't know what the Targo (a diehard White Sox fan) and I are going to do if we have children. It's almost like having conflicting religions. At least he's not a Cubs fan.
22. I'm totally a Tomboy. I love playing sports and know a lot of sports trivia.
23. But I'm too chunky to be athletic.
24. I'm not afraid of spiders.
25. Or snakes. In fact, one of my childhood cat used to bring snakes into the house. It would freak my mom out. I'd pick up the snake and throw it into the neighbor's yard.
26. But, I'm totally gagged-out by flies. *ICKALOT*
27. I have really eclectic taste in music. I thank my mom for that. Aside from her, her entire family is musically gifted. She made up for it by having an awesome vinyl collection.
    
28. I used to play the saxophone. I was not very good, but I really enjoyed it. Except taking a tenor sax on the bus. So not fun.
    
29. I was in marching band in high school and college. In high school, I twirled the rifle. In college I was a flag-twirler, which wasn't as cool.
    
30. I broke my own nose once when I caught my rifle with one hand but missed it with the other. I have a scar and I consider it a battle wound.
31. I've broken four fingers (but not my thumb) on my right hand. Again, battle wounds.
32. My dad broke my nose once. He ran over a stick with the lawnmower and it flew thirty feet and smacked me in the nose.
33. My nose doesn't work so well for breathing.
    
34. I've always had weight issues (like most American girls). Two of my brothers used to say "Oh! One more jelly donut and they'll roll you to high school." They're mean. And all three are very thin.
    
35. The thinnest I've ever been was my freshman year of college when all of the dorm food made me sick. I was a size six. And for the first time in my life, I had cheekbones.
36. It didn't last long.
37. I have size 9 1/2 feet. And I'm 5'3". Now how does that make sense?
38. Once when I was shoe shopping, the sales guy at Lady Foot Locker recommended I wear the box. Jerk.
    
39. The Targo has huge feet too. But he's about 6' tall.
40. Speaking of The Targo: I really like him.
41. We met in 1999 and became instant friends. He was really shy, but so cute. I was happy-go-lucky, which made up for my lack of cuteness.
    
42. Then something happened: He broke up with his girlfriend.
43. We started dating the following week.
44. It was a long haul, but I finally got him to marry me.
45. I love The Simpsons.
46. And South Park.
47. And Law & Order. Especially SVU.
48. And HGTV.
    
49. And the Ghost Whisperer.
50. I love TV.
51. And TiVo changed my life. Dear Lord!
52. The Targo makes fun of my TiVo choices, but once had two shows about the giant squid. So there.
    
53. I read voraciously.
54. But I'm embarrassed to elaborate on that.
55. Because my taste in books is even worse than my taste in TV shows.
    
56. I think I'm hooked on blogs.
57. Especially Mommy Blogs.
58. Because I'm obviously baby crazy.
59. Or perhaps just crazy.
    
60. I've recently become a homebody. It drives The Targo crazy because we live in a tiny, mole-hole apartment.
61. We're moving into a larger apartment this summer. Thank God.
62. My parents still live in the same house we moved into when I was 2 1/2 years old.
    
63. Since I graduated from high school, I've lived in three different towns.
64. I've moved a bajillion times. And I still have stuff in boxes.
    
65. I love living in Chicago, but I'm sort of ready to move again.
66. I want to live near the mountains. And get a couple mountain dogs.
67. I have fantasies of buying acres of land and building three houses on them: one for us, one for my in-laws, and one for my parents.
68. I think that would officially make it a compound.
69. When I was in grade school, I wrote short stories about ghosts and stuff like that.
70. When I was in high school, I wrote short romances.
71. I never much succeeded in English. And I'm sure you can see why: I write like I speak. So. NOT. Good.
72. But, I'm a miracle term paper writer. Like, 40 well-written pages overnight.
73. I firmly believe my procrastination is a character flaw. Yet I can't seem to shake it.
74. I've worked in several bars and restaurants.
75. I am now beleaguered with server anxiety and guilt. And never leave a bad tip. Even when the service is atrocious.
76. I'm addicted to The Sims 2. I'm trying to quit.
    
77. I have a potty mouth and hate it. I'm totally trying to quit that too.
78. My biggest pet-peeve is when people say "addicting."
79. Isn't that pathetic?
80. The first physical thing I tend to notice about people is eyebrows. Mine are straight across, so perhaps that's why. My other BFF, Chris, has perfect eyebrows. She could be a Vulcan.
81. I really overuse the words so, like, and yeah.
82. My mom's family motto is "If we didn't make fun of you, you wouldn't think we loved you."
83. They all suck.
84. Okay, not all of them, but many.
85. I had a friend in college who said "Here's a 'jeez whiz' fact for you..." I thought she said "Cheez Whiz fact." Now I say that all the time. In mixed company. People think I'm crazy.
86. The Wiz is playing in Chicagoland this summer.
87. If you're ever in Chicago, it's got an awesome live theater scene. You really can't go wrong.
    
88. I love musical theater.
89. I think Jesus Christ, Superstar is unparalleled in its awfulness.
    
90. But I've seen and loved Les Miserables, RENT, The Lion King, Miss Saigon and The Producers.
91. I made the mistake of taking The Targo to see Miss Saigon. He hated it because it was "so unrealistic."
92. He also rooted for Benny in RENT.
93. He's got a good heart though.
94. I liked college, but not enough to do it again. The only thing I'd do over is go to a more demanding (undergrad) school and work harder. Oh, and pick a different major. Okay, I'd totally do it all over.
    
95. I'm totally a "grass is greener" person.
96. That bothers me more than the word "addicting."
97. Why does blogger think "addicting" is a word, but doesn't recognize "blog?"
98. I reference wikipedia a lot. But firmly believe it's not reliable.
99. It's just easier than looking elsewhere.
100. I'm apparently lazy too.
101. This was really a lot harder than I thought it would be.

I'm a Cheating Cheater

I cheated on my chiropractor. I KNOW. It's terrible.

So like, I've got this back issue. Which I've whined about mentioned too many times to count. God. Here's the thing, I thought I'd be all smart and take care if it in the non-American way, meaning SLOOOOOOW. I've been seeing my chiropractor for the past year and a half and there have been times when my back has felt blissfully better - like, rainbows and unicorns better. There have been other times, like the last three weeks, where it's felt like someone wearing a stiletto has been kicking me in the right shoulder blade every time I say the word "Like." Which I say a lot. Or worse? Every time I punctuate something improperly. Again, quite frequent.

So, I thought I could persevere. I'm pretty tough. Right? No, I'm not that tough. Today, I went to one of the best rehabilitation programs in the country and sought a second opinion. I had hoped thought that they would give me a quick fix: "Here you go! Five days of the most powerful steroid on the market! Have a great time!" Again, I am denied. The physiatrist and his resident made me take my shoes off, examined me, and totally did not offer me a lollipop. Essentially they said that I need six weeks of physical therapy and an occupational therapist to evaluate my work environment. You know, unless there's an ergonomics specialist at my company! Bwahahahaahahaha *snort* hahahaha. Hooo-boy... I'm crying. Yeah.

That's where I'm at. I guess this same-old-same-old is better than something very bad. It's just frustrating. And maybe? I'm a big baby.